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The emotional toll that abortion has on Grandparents

By September 7, 2011 - 8:49am

Hello, Four years ago..my daughter..who was 20 and single...got pregnant. She decided to have an abortion..which I adamantly oppose..but it was not my body or my choice. I found myself in a very difficult situation..having to support her emotionally through this process while at the same time being opposed to it. I did make her aware of her options..but in the end she decided to go through with it. She was 12 weeks at the time of the procedure. I went with her..which was awfull. The clinic had protesters outside who screamed at us and had posters of gruesome abortions pictures. It was surreal being there with her...while I could very easily have been one of the protesters outside the clinic. The waiting room..where we had to wait 2 hrs. before she was taken in...was awfull as well. There were so many young girls/young women there crying in anticipation of what awaited them behind the door they would soon walk through. It was heartbreaking...I truly felt for all of them there..as well as their babies whose lives were soon to be so violently ended. I didn't go in with her..she came out about an hour later...drowsy from the anesthesia and slept in the back seat during the drive home. Little did she know the emotional impact it would have on her and myself as well. She hid in her house for the better part of a month...in pain..physically and emotionally. I did my best to support her emotionally as I was in unbelievable pain myself. After about a month..she came around and went on with her life. I was not so fortunate. I grieved terribly for the child whose life was ended so suddenly and the grandchild I would never know. I became terribly depressed...cried myself to sleep daily for over a year and eventually had to begin therapy with a psychologist to help me. It took about 2 yrs. for the pain to subside..but eventually it did. I prayed for that that little child daily...and hoped that he/she knew how much he/she was loved and prayed that his/her little soul would eventually find it's way to a loving family. Four years later..I now have another grandchild..who is a year old now and loved so very much..but I will never forget our little angel in heaven. My heart goes out to anyone who has lost a child...regardless of how it occurred...I understand the pain and loss. Blessings to all who have experienced such a loss and may you find peace in your heart and your mind..in time. chippi

By September 10, 2011 - 9:11pm

Darlene, Thank you for your reply. I do enjoy my grandson very much and love him dearly..thank you. I am sorry that you experienced the loss of a child yourself..it is a very painfull experience..I do hope that you now have peace in your heart..it does take quite a bit of time. Blessings and Thank you again, chippi

September 10, 2011 - 9:11pm
By HERWriter September 9, 2011 - 5:15pm

Thank you for sharing your story.

For many young girls and women, abortion seems so simple and yet they don't realize until afterwards the true emotional impact of their decision, which will never let them go. It will always haunt them, and caring grandparents such as yourself.

Enjoy the grandchild you have now. Hopefully, you and your daughter will be able to tell your story to convince other pregnant young women to not go through with the abortion.

I had to have a D&C to clean out my dead baby that I had miscarried. This was to be done in a hospital. Unfortunately, it meant going to the Obstetrics wing, where there were a bunch of women in various stages of giving birth. Yet, that's not what I was there for.

When I arrived at the nurses station to report in, a grumpy nurse greeted me. I assumed she had read that I was the D&C appointment and assumed it was an abortion. A younger nurse took over who was much more sympathetic. Perhaps she had heard others talking and knew it was a miscarriage.

Anyway...thank you, chippi, for sharing your story.

September 9, 2011 - 5:15pm

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This group is for women who have suffered the loss of a child. This includes miscarriages, stillbirths, and accidents and crimes. This group is also open to women who have had abortions and still feel the weight of that decision. We also welcome women who have given up children for adoption because in a way they too have lost a child. So, whether you have actually held your baby in your arms or not come share your story of loss and survival with us. You never know how your experience can help someone else in theirs.


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