I've been with my partner for a year. Lately we've been fighting a lot. I'm not really much of a fighter, are usually just sit there and listen. Sometimes, he gets really angry and start shouting at me. He says really mean things that cut me to my core. Things that I've expressed to him that I'm vulnerable around. Sometimes I worry that I'm a narcissist, or that maybe I'm too needy. Here's an example of one of our fights. He's been really stressed out. This morning he told me we were going to get a gas tank for this bus we just bought. I got really excited, it's a project we've been working on for awhile. So this morning I did my morning routine. I think I may have asked once what the plan was for today. He told me he didn't know. Eventually, I went into the bedroom where he was and went to lay next to him. He quickly asked me what my deal was and wanted to know what I was so anxious about. I was turkey caught off guard. I told him I was fine and he took it further and asked whay I needed to know what we were doing. I explained that in the past he has gotten upset because I am not ready when we are supposed to be doing something so i wanted to know the plan so I would be ready when he was. He told me I was putting him on edge with my anxiety. So I apologized about causing him anxiety and moved forward. Later, he was on the phone with a junk yard and when he got off he said this wasn't going to work that we were going to have to go to a junk yard to get what we needed. I asked if we were going today. He got really mad and started telling me to stop asking so many questions. The conversation went on for 2 hours. I wasn't being argumentative, he just kept going on about how he felt and how This is his fault because his expectations for me are too high. He then said he was taking a nap. I still wasn't ready so I went into the room to grab my clothes so I wouldn't wake him once he fell asleep. He is very sensitive to noise and has trouble sleeping. I told him I was just grabbing my clothes quickly and he got really mad and said he is trying to get away from me and now he is over the edge and he started to scream. He said I just had to push him and that I had to get one up on him. I was truly just trying to be thoughtful. I don't know if I am being selfish or not looking outside myself enough but sometimes I really feel crazy. Like the way I am trying to be and my intentions are never understood.
What can I do to understand how he is feeling better and know how i am coming off?