My boyfriend is not sexually attracted to me anymore.
So tonight, as is the case most nights, my boyfriend of 4+ years gets into bed and he immediately wants to sleep, showing absolutely no interest in me sexually. To make matters worse, he is leaving in 16 hours to go away for work for 2 months, so given the situation you would assume that he would want to be intimate before leaving. I decided to point out his desire to rush to sleep and his lack of interest in me. He blurts out that he is not interested anymore sexually and gets up to go sleep on the couch. I follow him out, pouring my heart out telling him I feel unattractive and unwanted, and have for some time. Our relationship is otherwise good aside from our lack of physical intimacy, we have our occasional issues like any couple but regularly exchange “I love you’s” and care very deeply for one another. However, I can’t remember the last time he complimented me, actively tried to initiate sex or made me feel attractive or wanted. He seems to think it is a ‘me’ problem, and that I have to deal with my self-confidence issues on my own. What I tried to explain is that the way he treats me, or doesn’t treat me, leaves an impression of disinterest and has really made me feel unsure of his feelings for me. I am simply at a loss on how I should proceed, as I said he is leaving for 2 months and now I worry our relationship will suffer with this distance and there will be tension while he is away. Also, I don’t know how to continue feeling this way, if me telling him how I feel is not enough, how am I supposed to be in a relationship with someone that isn’t physically attracted to me anymore? How can he even still be with me if he feels this way...I feel incredibly unattractive and unloved to say the least. I know a relationship should never define your self-worth, but it is difficult to not feel depressed by this.