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I've been sex-starved by my husband for 14months

By March 14, 2011 - 12:00pm

The last time I had sex was 14months ago, and that sex led to pregnancy. Throughout my nine months of pregnancy, I didn't have sex, now my baby is 4months and my husband hasn't made any move to make love to me. I feel horny right now, but I don't know how to tell him. I don't want him to feel I'm begging for it, I want him to ask for it. I don't know what to do.

By September 23, 2011 - 8:35pm

Gard, Your post almost made me cry because you are not alone! I'm 24 years old - my husband is 27 been together 5years married 2. He doesn't touch me. The whole time I was pregnant with my son, he didn't even want to lay in the same bed as me. When I had my son, we had sex once and I got pregnant with my daughter...again, no sex for another 9 months. Now, being on birth control..I wonder why the F*ck am I? He doesn't touch me, he doesn't want anything to do with me. He's also on a medication that drops his libido to NOTHING...Vicodin for back pain. In a way I am sad I found this post because you are dealing with what I am dealing with, but then in a way...I feel like I'm not alone when all I feel is emptiness all the time. I sit here and I cry now because all I want is a kiss and maybe a little hug from time to time. I pray to God everything turns good for you and your husband. Life isn't fair when one person wants sex and the other one calls you silly for even suggesting it.

September 23, 2011 - 8:35pm
By May 25, 2011 - 3:51pm

Has he talked to his doctor? My husband has a hard time getting an erection and when he does it takes over an hour for him to finish. But because of his heart he can't "move" the whole hour. He goes for a few minutes, rests a min or two then continues as before and it goes on and on until he releases.
Trust me I know you get frustraited and upset. I know I do and I feel unwanted and unloved.
But he has told me that he gets frustraited and angry at himself because he can't make love when he wants or like he used to. Maybe that is how your husband feels.
My husband doesn't make any sexual moves because he thinks I will automatically thinks he wants more than what he actually does or can do and that I will get upset if he doesn't or can't. I don't think that he understands that you can have intimacy just by laying together and holding each other and that there are other ways to be satisfied from him.
I am sure your husband is feeling the same way as mine.
But the two of you could go to the doctor and find out if they can do anything for him. My husband can't take anything because of his heart.
I truely do hope things get better for you. I really do feel for you. I understand what you are going through.

May 25, 2011 - 3:51pm
By May 21, 2011 - 11:46am

@Jmd: I'm 24 and he's 31. He has some prolactin issues, cos he has a pitutuay tumor, which releases prolactin into his body. And I guess prolactin reduces libido. He hardly ever make sexual-moves with me. Even his erection doesn't get so hard, it goes soft after 5mins or less.

May 21, 2011 - 11:46am
By May 21, 2011 - 9:46am

Just wanted to know how old Gard's husband was? Mine is 49 and I am 42 and we have not made love in 11months. Been together 2years 3months and married only 1yr. 3 months out of that time. My husband has diabetes as well as myself. Plus he has cardiomyopathy. and I have had a heart attack about 8months ago. I don't know if these are contributing to our problem for lack of sex because it has always been very infrequent except when we were first seeing each other then it was atleast every two or three weeks and when not actually completely making love there was other things being done. And then we got married and now nothing.....Does your husband have any health issues that could be contributing to the problem? I completely understand how your are feeling and hope that things can work out for the two of you.

May 21, 2011 - 9:46am

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