What's Your Divorce Story?
Even if it's amicable, divorce can be a blow to you. It changes everything. You may question everything. What's your divorce story, and how do/did you cope?
It has been 2 1/2 years since the divorce began, about the time I re-entered the workforce after taking care of my 3 boys for 9 years. I was fortunate to jump back into my career where I left off & have had much succcess since then...but it was hard, At times I would sit in the office staring at my cube walls, not being able to focus on my job, almost cry. I would come home to my boys feeling depressed & cry when i should have hugged them with a big smile. Even though I saw them 70% of the time & had a very amicable divorce, I was sinking into a pit & couldnt let myself go down. What happened to the fairy tale life of having a whole happy family, having a husband to grow old with & reminisce over the kids when they were young. So, I started running, & forced myself to find running buddies, I gutted out the house, re-did the kids rooms. I became closer with other families so i could have my boys be part of camping trips & vacations with other famiiles so they could keep the sense of family strong, even if their family unit wasnt whole anymore. I began a new relationship with a great guy, in the same situation. Unfortuantely our "baggage" made communication & furthering of our realationship complicated & it ended after a year. The journey is still going on as my ex has re-married & the kids have a new dynamic to get through. I have to keep that plastered smile on, but I cry when they are not around. I miss them, I miss my "normal" life, I even miss my ex- boyfriend...but I cant lose my passion, I cant close up. at least that is what I keep telling myself, even when I don’t feel it. My advice: life isnt easy, get good friends, force yourself to look out of the "box"out of what is comfortable, remind yourself what you are blessed with. & as you put on your lipstick put on your "SMILE"
January 30, 2011 - 8:46am
Hi Leisa,
January 31, 2011 - 8:46amThank you for being here, and for being a part of the EmpowHER community. Divorce is hard. I've been through it too. Luckily, mine was before kids, and before 30, so I got out pretty easily compared to you. But it still was hard. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. You sound like a very strong woman (what strong woman doesn't cry in the bathroom where her kids can't see her?). You give good advice.
Keep on keeping on. One of my favorite quotes is from Maya Angelou, "Life loves to be taken by the lapels and told, 'I'm with you kid, let's go!'"
It's hard to not look back, and wonder what could have been, etc. But it is in the looking forward that you find what you're seeking.
Good luck as you proceed in your journey, and come back anytime to share.
This Comment