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Communicating With Your Partner

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Positive communication is crucial if you are going to have smooth transactions with other people. This is true, whether those people are coworkers, doctors, sales clerks, or friends. Out of all those dealings, even the ones with close friends, are relatively uncomplicated compared to the ongoing back-and-forth that goes on between husbands and wives throughout the course of a marriage.

Good communication is at the heart of every marriage. It is the only way to let your partner know how you feel and what you need at any given point in time. Waiting around for your partner to read your mind will not work. There is only one way to make your marriage work and where your needs and expectations are met and that is to communicate!

Some tools that can help you and your partner have a more fulfilling relationship along with effective communication include:

Understand How You Talk To Each Other
A spouse’s choice of words and tone of voice reveal much about how she/he feels about her partner and her marriage.

Sharpen your listening skills- active listening is an important skill in any relationship. It is a technique that marriage partners can do to make sure they are being heard. After you have expressed a need or a feeling to your partner, ask him to repeat back what you just said, until you are satisfied that you have been heard. It is not necessary for your partner to repeat back your exact words, as long as he understands the substance of what you said. This really helps provide emotional sustenance, the feeling you get when someone you love is truly listening to you. This kind of communication makes you feel valued, supported and connected. It deepens the intimacy between you and your partner.

Recognize the Impact of Conversational Pacing Differences
Married couples sometimes have difficulty communicating because of clashes in how they talk. One partner talks in a quiet, slow and thoughtful manner. The other partner is much louder and forceful with rapid delivery. There is no right or wrong to conversation style. It only becomes an issue when couples complain about different styles of communication. Conversational pacing is a personality feature.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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