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He Cares About Me -- But Does He? Editorial

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When a husband or a lover tells you that he cares about you a lot one day and the next minute acts as if he doesn't give a darn about you, how do you feel? Do you feel helpless and just resort to the explanation that his nature is like that? Do you say to heck with him, I just go about my business and ignore him anyway? Or do you convince yourself that you love him anyway, even if you feel like strangling him at that moment and then give him a big hug and say "Honey, I know you didn't mean what you said-- it's okay and I forgive you"?

When women go through menopause they sometimes expect certain amounts of attention from their loved ones in order to sustain irritations and complications that arise from their particular situation. Some women suffer from menopause more than others. I have seen women with deep depression, suicidal thoughts, being in fighting moods, and becoming cry babies. The most important thing many women seem to expect from their better halves is the feeling of "I am here for you and I understand" kind of assurance. Even if it is not expressed in words, little actions like making a cup of coffee, rubbing their feet, getting a Tylenol, cooking for dinner, or just plain and simple hug makes a lot of difference. But how many women know that men go through their own share of mood swings? Before I got marries, I certainly didn't.

Many men, if we notice carefully, change their attitudes and moods according to the situations they are in. For example, if I try to speak to one of my children early in the morning when he is getting ready to leave the house for work, I better watch out for the grumpy man who will reply to me. Sometimes I am hesitant to ask if he needs some coffee or toast for breakfast. The way he looks at me says it all. The best time to catch this young man is in the evening at around seven when he is in his best of moods, or during the weekend.

Another one of my sons is in his worst moods after work while driving home. He sounds as if the whole world is falling apart. His usually handsome, deep voice turns to this mushy child's tone that is in dire need of crying out.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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