If you’re old enough, you might remember the song by the Bee Gees – “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart.”
Unfortunately, the Gibb brothers don’t really mention how to mend anything. I think they were dwelling on the past. Not a good thing to do.
While it is tough to get over a failed relationship, especially when you’re the dumpee, not the dumper, the good news is life goes on. It really does.
Here are seven tips to help you move on and be happy again.
1. First, you grieve.
Have a good cry for a day or two, but by day three it’s time to slip out from under the comforter. If you stay in grieve mode too long, you might do something you’ll regret, like call him up, stalk him, or call some unsuspecting old flame to kill your sadness with a one-night stand.
Resist these temporary fixes. They will only prolong the grief.
2. Spend time with friends.
You may feel like you want to be alone, but let friends help you. Just listening to other people’s problems for a while can help. They may have good advice for you, too.
Remember that they are on the outside, so they can look at things more objectively than you can.
3. Stay busy.
Lying around listening to old songs that remind you of him will just deter you from moving on. Go shopping, clean the closet, weed the garden, or go to a movie. Do anything to get you off the couch and on with your life.
4. Learn from your mistakes.
Think about why and when the relationship went wrong. Were you too negative? Were you needy? Possessive? It’s important figure out if you need to change anything before you start a new relationship. If you think it was him, not you, learn how avoid choosing the same type next time.
5. Stop dwelling.
After a break up, the automatic response is to rethink the entire relationship or the last words that were said to each other. Don’t dwell on what you should have said. This may cause you to text him, email him or call him, and turn into a nut case.
Don’t allow him to see you needy or psycho. You don’t want word to get around that you’re a bad breaker upper.
6. Try something new.
Now is the time to take a class, join a club, or something that will take your mind off the break up. Stimulating your brain is a great way to get over the past and focus on the now.
7. Feel good about yourself. Having a failed relationship is not the end of the world. You will survive. Think positive. Tell yourself things you would say to a good friend. Stand tall and move on.
Be good to yourself. You deserve the best life.
11 Ways to Get Over One Relationship and Start Looking for the Next. Shine.yahoo.com. Web. 25, June, 2012
Recovering from a failed relationship. Ivillage.co.uk. Web. 25, June, 2012
Relationship Boot Camp. How to get through a relationship. Psychologytoday.com. Web. 25, June, 2012
Reviewed June 25, 2012
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith