Many times my kids have brought their smiles and gifts to a mom who couldn't move in her chair. I've had a tendency to cripple up from time to time. Sometimes it's a bad knee or a swollen foot. Other times it's been an arm and hand — or both arms and hands.
So much for dressing up for the occasion. In those circumstances, if I can manage a clean housecoat, that is something they have all become used to over the years.
If dinner doesn't require much manipulation of knives and forks, Mom might enjoy the meal more. Otherwise, someone to cut her food, to serve her meal onto her plate and be ready to run for seconds can make a real difference.
Should you say anything about her illness, about her pain? Yes. Yes, you should. Will it make her self-conscious? Maybe. But you should ask her about it anyway.
A crippled or sick or worn-out mom may be what you as her child are used to seeing. But every day is a new experience in frustration for her, and that is especially true at holidays and celebrations.
So even if you've asked her how she is, and have listened to the same litany of problems, by all means do it again. It may not be new, but it still gets all over everything in her life. Living like this is something she will never "get used to" and it helps to know someone cares about what she is going through.
Holidays with chronic illness can be tricky, complicated, and messy in so many ways. But it is worth the extra trouble, planning and organizing and your Mom will appreciate the love that you put into it all.
Visit Jody's website at http://www.ncubator.ca