MotherLove

Rate This

It's not easy to love. It's irrational. It goes up the down escalator and over and under the days of the week, winding itself like a silken thread through the most mundane of activities, humming in your heart or tearing you apart.

For mothers, this intensity is relegated to a special part of our brains, called simply: "children." While it seems beyond the ken of imagination that we should have the overpowering sense of irrational and almost fierce love for our children while simultaneously being expected to "keep our heads" and raise them in a rational manner, this, ladies and gentleman, is the edict.

It can be maddening. I know of no other profession in which someone is expected to remove a piece of themselves and then teach it well and without pause for eighteen years. Or longer.

During times of great stress, such as when the thirteenth load of laundry is eyeing me suspiciously from the hamper, my lesson plans for the next 14 months are as yet unwritten or even contemplated, my bank account is laughable and my reserves of sleep, rest and peace of mind are in dire need of a stimulus plan, I tell my children to be quiet and eat their Cheerios before I freak out. Yes, I really have said that. Also, when I'm about to freak out, my voice gets all deadpan and monotone so they know something weird may happen. "Be quiet and eat your Cheerios before I freak out." It's not funny, really.

It's better, I think, than the ones who lose it completely as I've seen on the television show "Snapped" where the ladies lose their cool. But what is this motherhood, mothering, or motherlove. For some of us it's an all consuming passion, it's our entire lives. For others it's just a natural thing - part of what we decided to do. For many of us, it's a daily and sometimes hourly struggle to pursue the right course both for ourselves and our offspring. We tear our hair out and cry ourselves to sleep. Sometimes everyone knows about it and sometimes we do it alone.

Or, if we're prone to this, we can medicate our sense of inadequacy, our fears for the future of our children. Sometimes when the bullies on the bus make your little one feel life is a bad thing, you do just want it all to go away. But you've got to get on the phone. And the sense of it just never ending can tip the scale, the wine jug, or the pill bottle in the wrong direction pretty darn quick if there's no support on the horizon.

As I get closer to the 12 year mark in this mind-numbing atmosphere of passionate, intense emotional roller coasters and more caring than I ever thought possible, I do more letting go because I know if I don't, I will freak out whether they are quietly eating their Cheerios, getting straight A's, failing miserably or just having fun in the back yard. The point is, they're growing and it will never be perfect. Not only that, just because you feel you are the CEO of their souls, you aren't They are their own people, their own lives unfolding before them.

And while it's important to cherish your motherlove, it's also important to give some to yourself. Tucking yourself in and giving yourself healthy food and nice thoughts about YOU are just as meaningful. Seriously.

Aimee Boyle is a regular contributor to EmpowHer

Add a CommentComments

There are no comments yet. Be the first one and get the conversation started!

Aimee Boyle View Profile Send Message

We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.