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When Families are Apart

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Growing up in a higher middle class family surrounded by uncles, aunts, cousins, grandmothers, grandfathers, their brothers and sisters, friends and others, I am accustomed to certain rules, regulations and closeness to others. I would hear one relative talking to another other or gossiping on some other relative in groups but when the time came everything was under the mat and everything was business as usual. No matter how many differences were there between people they covered it up and never let them surface. We as children didn't even know what was going on. Even though we felt tense situations we were never aware of the seriousness of them. If someone was drunk and was misbehaving the others in the family took care of it and everything was a hush by morning. If someone got sick others took care of him or her. If there was an elderly member who was deathly ill all the family members took turns to care for him or her. We never had our doors closed for anyone. We never had to call someone to visit anyone. We just went and we were never turned down for a dinner or lunch. Hospitality was the number one priority in our families. There was always enough food cooked for one or two more people just in case. Most of all I have never seen the women in the house having problems with each other or fighting for places.

As the time went by and we children grew up to be adults, we also grew apart with some of us being married to people away from our hometown. Some of us like myself went off to other countries. Some newer family members did not like the idea of being too much with the family so they moved away only visiting for major events. Most of us had only one child since we couldn't bring up more than one in present day conditions. Everything was considered before the child was born and planned. Except for me, most of my brothers, sisters and cousins had only one or at the most two. Most people in my age group worked and didn't have anyone to care for the children at home. Daycare became expensive and kids were always sick being in preschool.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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