“Love is blind” is a popular saying for a reason. It’s popular because it’s true. Love can blind us from seeing glaring mistakes and missteps that we otherwise could have seen clearly.
Love in a relationship is important, of course, but it isn't the only essential ingredient. And it can’t make up for a lack of compatibility in the partners down the line. Before you get married, there are several key factors you must discuss to give yourselves the best chance of a happily ever after.
Here are seven things you should reveal to your fiancé before you say “I do”:
1) I want children.
Or, I don’t want children at all. There isn't a compromise when one person wants children and the other doesn't.
If children are important to you, reveal that early on to save yourself time and heartache later. Also, talking about parenting styles and discipline ideas before a child is even conceived can help ease any tensions when a baby does enter the picture.
2) I have debt.
Money is one of the things couples tend to argue about a lot. Don’t go into a marriage with unresolved money issues hanging in the balance. Communicate openly and honestly about whatever situation you are in, and trust that your partner can handle it. Also talk about your plan for paying it off.
3) I want to participate fully in .
If your partner is a different religion or no religion at all, it is important for that person to know that you intend to follow your own path. Make sure you talk about how your faith will affect your lifestyle and if any children you have will be immersed in it as well.
4) I’m career-driven.
If your goal is a corner office in a downtown high-rise, make sure your partner understands that goal and what it will take to get you there. Likewise, if you want to give up your income and career aspirations as soon as there is a bun in the oven, communicate that as well.
Talking through these choices, even if they might change, can help both partners prepare themselves for the future.
5) I don’t ever want to move.