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"Making love." Those two words are music to the ears. "Having sex." Those two words are...hmmm....I don't know. Well, both have the same meaning don't they? Not quite! Making love is what lovers say who are emotionally involved. Having sex is what anyone can say who are well, just doing it for doing's sake any time. Does this make sense?
Kama Sutra was written by ancient Hindus for any two people who shared not just their bodies but their minds and souls. Kama means desire and Sutra means rule or a thread. Kama Sutra is derived from Sanskrit meaning the rules of desire or methods of making love to derive the maximum pleasure out of two bodies engaged in a sexual act out of love. That means making love is using love that two people feel for each other to produce a sense of euphoria which in turn increases love for each other. It is immersing one's self completely while giving yourself to your partner and contenting themselves with a total sense of completeness. Now, does it make sense?
Over the past 20 to 30 years or even more, Kama Sutra was taken into context in different ways. It's been exploited by people who are in the porn business. The positions that are suggested in Kama Sutra were meant to bring a sense of pleasure that two people in love give to each other. But in pornography the positions are being used to create pure disgust for people who are sensitive and pure animal satisfaction for people who have perverted minds. There is no sense in these sexual acts that are created to make one's mind wild with violent thoughts of hurting each other where people derive pleasure out of watching them on screen. Or for pure seduction for different reasons like money, an easy way to get involved, or in some cases in the name of dating and getting to know each other. In the case of married couples having sex is like eating and sleeping. It is part of the daily chore, something that has to be done in order to live with the partner.
Making love is the most sensitive way of expressing ones feelings towards your partner. When a person makes love to their partner they tend to flow along with their body and mind. They know how their partner reacts with each sensual moment and touch. It is like not only their bodies know how to position themselves in tune with the other. When the mind flows into ecstasy, the body follows suit. Positions are sought out to satisfy each other. Adjustments in sensuality are made to accommodate each other. It is like they know what the other wants and feels. Making love is making the better half happy by loving the partner with fulfillment. When a person makes love usually they feel the sensations through the other's movement with touch. There is no difference between each other, no space between the souls, no discrepancies between thoughts. The lovers become whole completing each other.
When having sex feelings are made out of need. And the need is to release oneself out of bodily pressures. It is purely hormonal. While having sex is sometimes done between lovers, most of the time sex is technical. It is done with husbands wanting wives for a few minutes whether wives want it or not. Or teenagers curious to explore the unknown territories, or criminals wanting to rape someone. If we look at the porn sites or movies, we could see the lack of emotions right away. You could say what's the deal? Sex is something that's done between two people who are used to each other with no newness like couples who have been married too many years and do not think of the mental aspect of making love any more. They tend to forget the very reason that they were married in the first place. Family issues bring added pressures into the bedrooms. Work related issues walk into the private moments. Children's problems come into picture in the middle of intimate gestures. The majority of divorces take place because of lack of intimacy and lost feelings between couples for any number of reasons. Most of the extra marital affairs take place because of lack of attention from partners mentally. When a person is not getting what they need from their partner in terms of understanding feelings, respect they deserve, or importance as wife or husband in making decisions, they tend to become vulnerable to outside temptations. And when that happens, either they use their bodies in search of mental pleasures or the other person might use them for their own selfish needs. Whether it is a man or a woman there is always room for exploitation if in search of mental dependency elsewhere.
The root cause for so many different issues in terms of relationships is not understanding body language and using it properly. When the difference between making love and having sex is understood and put into practicality many problems in relationships are taken care of. When two people start their relationship in the name of love, that they should be able to distinguish the thin line between making love and having sex. Basic respect for each other leads to first considering each other's body language. Even in sharing intimacies there should be that mutual respect as to be concerned about each other's needs. A blissful relationship between couples or lovers is built on the foundation that is laid with love, respect and understanding in the bedrooms at the starting of life together. If the life is based on the foundation that is laid on pure lust or sex, it is pure physical attraction that fades away over time and negative aspects of the partner start showing up. This foundation leads to nowhere but the breaking of relationships and heart aches and some times collapse of the whole families. This affects children who in turn have broken relationships because of the traumas they have to endure. The number of singles is ever increasing due to this very fact. People just think it is easier to date, romance and discard the partners rather than putting up with lifetime of problems. Therefore, physical relationship=treasured love making=mutual respect=cherished love=memories for life=beautiful friendship=lovely children=great relationships=OUR LIFE MATTERS.
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