Serial Mistresses

Are you interested in finding romance that is invigorating, sensational and passionate? All you have to do is date a man who is currently involved in a committed relationship.

What? That's immoral and sordid, you say? Not to some women, who proudly call themselves "serial mistresses".

For the sake of this article, let's discuss this issue involving only non-married men (no mention of infidelity, in other words).

What type of women would choose to be a serial mistress?

Do these women have self-esteem issues? Do they have their own commitment phobias? Are they trying to get back at women, societal inequalities or a previous ex-boyfriend? A serial mistress does not seem to be a "one-size-fits-all" type of woman, as these women are all shapes, sizes, colors, educational levels, relationship histories, and ages.

What is the motive for serial mistresses?
If we can suspend judgment for a moment, and look at a serial mistress' behavior, we may learn something about women's sexuality in general. As a type of sexual expression considered "extreme", I wonder if the continued confusion surrounding women's sexuality (such as being an "experienced virgin"), is causing some women to behave in extremes to feel liberated, sexually expressive, free, satisfied and independent.

1. Catch-and-Release. Yes, it's a fishing term, but remember the thrill of a boy liking you in grade school? There is a thrill of the hunt, then satisfaction with the catch. Sure, in this case, the prey already found someone he loves and has committed to, but, are you able to seduce him enough to second guess his first choice? Talk about a power trip, ego boost and adrenaline rush...all in one. All you have to do is play the game, and then release him back to his girlfriend at your will.

2. Sense of freedom. You can dump 'em as fast as you can get 'em, because there is no commitment. Not even a empty promise of one. Can you help it if you are so fabulous?! Imagine the sense of freedom to be with the guy at your convenience, without the relationship requirements for negotiating, compromise and endless discussions. In theory: you get all the good, "she" gets the rest!

3. Adrenaline junkie -- in bed. You don't have to worry about trying to impress or "keep" a boyfriend, as you can experiment, play different acts, and just know that it's not actually "you" --it's your "character" -- role playing sexually. The song lyrics, "don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me" is popular for a reason; there is power in feeling extremely sexy and in control; you have this man's undivided attention for this moment in time. You get the best of him, and you can choose what part(s) he gets of you.

4. Doing good. That's right. Some serial mistresses might actually view their behavior as helpful by teaching men a thing or two about love, life, sex...and then the girlfriend can benefit from the guy's extra knowledge and skill. You're welcome, girlfriend.

Thank you for suspending judgment while reading this article, as I truly wanted to provide the flip side to what most of us women in committed relationships would not dare give a second thought to as a palatable subject matter. Some women choose this as a dating style, and we can agree there are some benefits in having a sense of "careless freedom and reckless abandon" that many of us only see in the movies. For the majority of us in committed relationships, we find more long-term gratifying, deeper emotional connection and true spiritual and physical intimacy through sharing our authentic selves with one other person through the daily ups and down of real life.

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• Sex & Relationships