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Women and Low Sex Drive – Why We (or Our Partners) Don’t Want to Have Sex

By HERWriter Guide
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It’s something that many of us will go through at sometime in our lives – a lack of sex drive. Those many times where sleep, taking a bath or washing the kitchen floor is more appealing to having sex. There are many reasons why this happens.

Unbalanced hormone levels:

This can actually happen at any time but it’s often seen in women during perimenopause and menopause itself. It sometimes continues on well into middle/old age. Our hormones simply fail to provide the levels needed to being back our urge for sex. There are medical and natural methods to restore the libido to its previous glory. You can read more about low libido here, in a great article found on EmpowHER : https://www.empowher.com/menopause/content/sex-libido-menopause

Pregnancy/post-partum and taking care of children:

While certainly not something that all women experience, pregnancy, especially a pregnancy with high levels of fatigue, hormonal upset and morning sickness, can play havoc with a woman’s sex drive. The post-partum (after birth) time for many women will include a complete lack of interest in sex. These reasons include painful birth or C-sections, post-partum depression and stress, breastfeeding, a lack of family support and again, hormonal shifts. Recovery, good emotional support, rest and time can see libido increase for many women, although some women may need to see a health care provider.


Depression is a key factor in low libido for many women. Because the brain works in a different way when we are suffering from depression, the chemicals released (including uppers like serotonin and dopamine) decrease and push a person further into their depression and further from wanting any kind of intimate contact with another. There is help for depression; you can read more here: https://www.empowher.com/condition/depression
Stress is also a factor – more can be read here: https://www.empowher.com/female-sexual-dysfunction/content/hey-dude-wheres-my-libido

More reasons for lack of libido are weight gain, ill health, aging, and finding oneself in a relationship that needs counseling or that needs to end.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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