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Tips for Discussing Long-Term Elder Care

By HERWriter
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You can also recommend a bi-monthly or weekly visit by an elder care professional as a possible trial run.

During the Conversation:
• Remember to always stay positive during your conversation.
• Ask your loved one for permission to discuss the topic of eldercare options. You never want to insult or challenge your loved one when it comes to discussing eldercare living options.
• According to Care.com, lead with an empathetic statement like ʺI am worried about you because if you continue to live alone, you may fall and break your hip.ʺ

• Be honest and open. You do not want to make our loved one feel like a burden or make them feel like they are giving up their independence if they choose an elder care living facility.
• Provide examples of possible elder care living scenarios. Let your loved one know that there are a wide range of options available.
• Be ready to listen and list your loved one’s concerns.

Eldercare experts agree being proactive and planning is key in order to prepare your loved one for eldercare living options.

Also, it may be beneficial to have a third party make recommendations about eldercare living options. For example a doctor, geriatric care manager or elder law attorney can be seen as a non-threatening neutral party who presents eldercare living alternatives to your loved one.

Finally, the AARP offers a brochure called ʺPrepare to Care: A Planning Guide for Familiesʺ which offers five steps to assist you in developing a caregiving plan. See the following link for the free brochure:


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EmpowHER Guest

Visiting Angels is indeed a blessing. I needed someone to care for my mom who lives in Palm Beach Gardens, FL. She suffers from Alzheimer’s and I live in England. I was able to choose the right caregiver for my Mom. The person was experienced and had excellent credentials. I have peace of mind knowing that Mom is in capable hands. You should check them out at www.visitingangels.com/palmbeaches (561-328-7611) if you need senior care services.

November 26, 2012 - 7:09am

This has got to be one of the hardest things ever to discuss with a parent or grandparent. For so long in all our lives our parents and grandparents are the ones taking care of us and then suddenly we are thrust in position to make those decisions for them. Very difficult for sure. Thanks for the article.

May 29, 2012 - 1:34pm
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.