Heather describes the realizations she has arrived at about her past when she abused alcohol and shares how her past has shaped her goals for the future.
When I was drinking and drugging I always felt alone and the scary part was, I didn’t care that I was alone because then I’d have to share. I would just sit at home by myself and that’s not good. It’s scary and I get god shots all the time and I never saw them before.
My other friend’s sister had passed away back in October and I carried her card with me that says the day she died and it has a little prayer on the back. I carried that with me every day. I had it in my back pocket and I read it, but it didn’t really mean what it means me today.
I heard a prayer in a meeting one day and I really liked it so I started saying it, and the other day I was on my way to meet some friends and I picked up the back of the card and that same prayer was on that card and I just thought that was insane. I mean I never saw it before. My eyes weren’t open or maybe they were open and my glasses were dirty because it was there. All these signs are there and unless you are clean and sober you can’t see them, no matter how bad you want to, you are just blurred and I don’t have that much time clean right now, clean and sober, I am at 65 days today, but I know that with me spreading this message I might be able to save other people and I know that that’s my purpose now.
My purpose isn’t to have a million dollars; it’s not to own six houses in five years. My purpose is to save whoever I can today and work on me in the meantime. I mean yeah, there’s things I want. Yeah I want to sell my house in a few years and double my money but that’s in a few years. That’s not going to happen today. So, if I concentrate on today then I mean great things are going to come to me and I am lucky that I am young enough to see that. I am only 23 years old and to be able to snap out of something like that is amazing.
Interview Scheduled By In The Rooms®: A Global Recovery Community.