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Lola,
He is telling you all you need to know, right? I'm not sure what "freaks out" entails, but if he is anxious about spending too much time with you, then perhaps he is either feeling smothered in the relationship, is wanting out of the relationship...or is just wanting some alone time. No big deal, really.

What IS a big deal: you are "not sure what to do". Here are some ideas:
- Find a hobby, interest or something that you are talented at or enjoy
- Spend time with friends who love
- Spend time with family you love
- Go to a movie (alone, with friends), read a book...do things that you love to do, independent of your boyfriend
- Spend time alone...and actually ENJOY it!

A relationship that is long-lasting and healthy is not about being connected-to-the-hip with another person. It is about being happy and interesting as individuals, and another person just brings out the best parts in each other. If you are bringing him down by being too "needy"...you have a choice to stop! A healthy relationship entails people WANTING to be together, and ENJOYING their time spent apart. An unhealthy relationship includes people desperately needing each other, unable or unwilling to function successfully.

It is your choice, and you may find some of these other articles helpful (the titles are primarily about sex, but general relationship advice is included):

December 26, 2010 - 3:30pm

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