Hi Sasooo,
Thank you for your question and for joining EmpowHER. We're glad you're here. You definitely are doing some soul searching. When's the wedding, is it planned? It is completely natural to question like this. It is normal to lose your temper from time-to-time. You are very justified to wonder if he's the right man for you. Something you said struck me, "i have this idea about the perfect guy for me and he is not him from the strong personality aspect." Are you settling? You're only 24, what's the rush to get married? It's great he's a nice guy, but if you're not head-over-heels, and 100% sure, what are you doing? This isn't an easy road to travel, but imagine being in a marriage that isn't right for you. Fast forward 5 years, and you're still frustrated by the same things, what then? Do you stick it out, or get a divorce?
Ultimately, the choice is yours. We cannot tell you what to do, we can only share our viewpoints based on experience, and inspire you to advocate for your own well-being. Another thing you said, "i don't like that i [feel] like i am the one who is controlling things just like i was doing when i was single, so why am i in a relationship?!!!"
Dating is designed to try on people to see if you fit with them. It's great when you find a nice guy, but it doesn't mean you have to marry him. You may need to try on a couple more to find the one that's right for you. Your fiance also may need some time to find his own opinions. Yes, it could come in time if you were to get married, but it also could go that you end up controlling your lives for the next 50 years. What do you want? What do you need to be happy? Go get that...good luck!
Have you discussed your concerns with him? What does he say? Does he have pre-wedding concerns too? Talk those over. Are you doing pre-marital counseling at all? It may be helpful to try to resolve some of these concerns and shed some light on how you may want to proceed.
Let us know if you need to "talk" more. And I sincerely hope that our information is helpful. Here are a couple articles that may provide some insight: Ultimate Relationship: What are the Main Components?, and Why a Woman Should Know What She Wants, and Ingredients for a Great Relationship
There are more great articles that may be helpful, if you look around the website on these pages. Good luck, and let us know how you are doing.
-Take care,
Christine
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Hi Sasooo,
April 28, 2011 - 7:47amThank you for your question and for joining EmpowHER. We're glad you're here. You definitely are doing some soul searching. When's the wedding, is it planned? It is completely natural to question like this. It is normal to lose your temper from time-to-time. You are very justified to wonder if he's the right man for you. Something you said struck me, "i have this idea about the perfect guy for me and he is not him from the strong personality aspect." Are you settling? You're only 24, what's the rush to get married? It's great he's a nice guy, but if you're not head-over-heels, and 100% sure, what are you doing? This isn't an easy road to travel, but imagine being in a marriage that isn't right for you. Fast forward 5 years, and you're still frustrated by the same things, what then? Do you stick it out, or get a divorce?
Ultimately, the choice is yours. We cannot tell you what to do, we can only share our viewpoints based on experience, and inspire you to advocate for your own well-being. Another thing you said, "i don't like that i [feel] like i am the one who is controlling things just like i was doing when i was single, so why am i in a relationship?!!!"
Dating is designed to try on people to see if you fit with them. It's great when you find a nice guy, but it doesn't mean you have to marry him. You may need to try on a couple more to find the one that's right for you. Your fiance also may need some time to find his own opinions. Yes, it could come in time if you were to get married, but it also could go that you end up controlling your lives for the next 50 years. What do you want? What do you need to be happy? Go get that...good luck!
Have you discussed your concerns with him? What does he say? Does he have pre-wedding concerns too? Talk those over. Are you doing pre-marital counseling at all? It may be helpful to try to resolve some of these concerns and shed some light on how you may want to proceed.
Let us know if you need to "talk" more. And I sincerely hope that our information is helpful. Here are a couple articles that may provide some insight:
Ultimate Relationship: What are the Main Components?, and Why a Woman Should Know What She Wants, and Ingredients for a Great Relationship
There are more great articles that may be helpful, if you look around the website on these pages. Good luck, and let us know how you are doing.
-Take care,
Christine
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