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25, in a 7 year relationship, and no sexual drive.

By Anonymous August 20, 2014 - 7:31am
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I should clear this up, i have a sexual drive but only when I'm in the mood. I rarely have sex with my boyfriend because I'm just not up for it. Lately he's been complaining that I don't initiate like I used to. I know this but it's hard to explain. When I have sex I enjoy it most of the time but I do feel like it's almost impossible to get started. Either I feel self contious with myself, tired, or upset with my boyfriend for not helping me with dishes or something like that. Sometimes I feel discomfort in my vagina during sex and its painful. (I've had this for a few years and doctors cannot help) after the discomfort my sex drive plumited. So sometimes it's not enjoyeable. I love my boyfriend and we plan on getting married someday but I don't want to be a girl who can't please her guy. Even worse, I don't want to continue to not feel sexy. What can I do to incrrase my sex drive and improve this part of my relationship ?

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Hello Anonymous,

Thank you for coming to us for help.

Your problem may have deep emotional roots. You mention feeling self conscious about yourself, tired or upset with your boyfriend's lack of helping with chores. These feelings will deeply impact your desire to initiate sex. Feeling sexy and wanting to be intimate depends on your state of mind as much as a physical response.

Finding a way to boost your self esteem and energy may help. Talk with your boyfriend. In a non threatening way, ask him to help with chores. Being demanding doesn't work. Trust me on that one.

It is important to sort this out before it continues much longer and before you consider marriage.


August 20, 2014 - 8:39am
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