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Is 45 too old to have a baby??

By Anonymous April 9, 2009 - 11:14am
 
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I'm recently married and my new husband and I have started talking about having a baby together. Not right away, but maybe we'd start trying in the next year or two. I have a couple of teenagers from my previous marriage and this is his first marriage (no kids). The problem is timing - we're not getting any younger!! We're both in our 40's - I'll be turning 45 later this year, and when I had my last baby at age 31, I thought I was totally done having kids. I never would have dreamed I'd even be thinking about another baby, but of course I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced and then remarried.

My question to other moms out there is what your opinion is on having a baby later in life. I'd love to know ALL your feelings on this. At the moment, I'm so enjoying my teenagers and love the fact that they're each becoming so independent and that we can do so many fun things together. I love my independence as well, and how much easier this part of my life is. As much as I'd love to have a baby with my husband at some point, I'm wondering if adding a new baby into the mix would be completely insane at this "middle-aged" stage of the game. What do you think? I could sure use some advice!

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Anonymous

I'm a 50 year old male. My wife is 46 and just found out she is pregnant. This was a huge shocker to us as we already have kids who are 10 and 13. I'm worried for many reasons. Mostly because of our age. When I'm 60, I'll have a 10 year old. I don't think I'll be able to do the same things that I've done with my other children. I'm sure I'll do the best I can. Family wise, all my relatives are already in their late 60's and early 70's. By the time the baby is born, most of the extended family population will no longer be alive. I'm hopeful that me and my wife will have a long life and provide for this baby, but for some reason neither one of us is excited to have this child for the fear that we may not be here long enough to protect it and help it along in life. These are our legitimate worries. In addition, we worry about chromosome defect and possibility of autism which will place burden on one or both of our kids in the future. Is there anyone out there who can relate or share a similar experience? Did you go through with the pregnancy or abort? I'm very nervous about ensuring the welfare of our new child as they get older in their 20's.

April 16, 2018 - 1:32pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 47 and had my first child a year ago...completely naturally, without any drugs or fertility treatments.

He is amazing...happy, healthy, intelligent and currently featured in a baby magazine. I was told I had a less than 1% chance at my age to have a baby and even if I was to get pregnant that the child would most likely not be 'viable'. (This from a $300 a hour gynecologist who told me to either adopt or find an egg donor...4 years prior to becoming pregnant)

DON'T believe the naysayers!!! It is completely possible! In addition, you're not too old. I'm having a blast as is my husband. We have the knowledge, time and money to give our child 100%.

Over the past year I have observed in my 'mommy and me group' countless other children of 'younger' mothers where the little one's are shy, timid, sickly or introverted. My son is the opposite. Happy, outgoing, hasn't had a cold and approaches everyone young and old. I believe it's because of the time and attention he gets from his 'older parents'.

My advice...GO FOR IT!!! Good luck!

August 28, 2017 - 5:48pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Wow your baby is in a magazine. What about all the babies born into poverty, do you think your child is special because a magazine focused on you. They just wanted a feel good story, in reality most kids born with old parents go off the rails or have down sindrome.

October 19, 2017 - 3:26am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

This was a ridiculous reply. Children can be born into poverty at any age. Older parents are more likely to have their crap together and provide better for a child, not always but more likely. As for downs I have two people close to me both in their mid 20’s who have a child with downs.

March 30, 2018 - 4:55pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I really need to hear from people like you i'm 45 n just found out i'm pregnant Congratulations and mi hope my pregnancy turns out well...☺

October 13, 2017 - 4:22pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi dear, Just want to send you support and tell you enjoy life to the fullest. I am 45 with four children! ages 20,16,9,3. Don't let anyone steal your joy for wanting to have another baby.
They are pure gifts! Best wishes

August 6, 2017 - 5:18pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 44 and have a 14 month old and 9 year old- they are the love of my life. The OB who delivered the last baby was 44 and 46 with her kids, and told me if your body is healthy, you can have a healthy delivery/pregnancy. If your heart wants it, and your body can do it- don't think about it twice-God bless you! My Mom was 40 and 42 when she had us (got married at 39) and said we kept her young. That was in the 1970's! Good luck, and best wishes!

August 5, 2017 - 9:50am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I don't agree with having children at 45. The biggest concerns are related to premature birth, downs, etc. Children are born perfectly healthy to older mothers, but the chances of genetic issues popping up are greatly increased. I had both my children at 27 and 32. I'm 45 now and can't imagine going through a pregnancy at my age. I'm healthy, don't take any meds nor overweight, but I also get tired quicker now too. You may feel ok in your mid 40's, but what about 5-6 years later when you're going through menopause?! Food for thought........

July 1, 2017 - 6:59pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 44 years old and am 5 weeks pregnant. I have 3 other children, 26, 16, and 10. I would be over the moon with joy except that I am pregnant by a man (Brent) who is engaged to somebody else. A little back story: Brent and I dated about 22 years ago when I was wild and uncertain. Fast forward 22 years and we are absolutely in love with each other. Unfortunately, he is engaged to somebody else with whom he just bought a house with. He has told me from the first few times we started seeing each other again that he knows he wants to be with me, but has so much money invested in his current relationship. Apparently she is holding on to almost 100k of his money. He doesn't know when he's going to leave the relationship, and since I told him I was pregnant, hes been very distant. I don't think I can go to the "clinic" as I've done it before and swore I'd never do it again. However, I don't want to ruin his life with a baby. I'm afraid if I choose to keep the baby, he will resent me for it. He is a very kind and generous man who cares deeply about how his actions affect others. To top it off, I am 7 months shy of getting my degree, so my income is minimal at best. I want to stress that in all my 44 years, I have never been so madly in love with anybody. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man and have never made that claim about anybody. Something else interesting is that his doctors have been telling him for years that he is unable to have children. Him and his ex-wife tried for over 6 years with no luck. The very first time we had sex, I got pregnant. And apparently, 44 year old women have a 6-7% chance of getting pregnant on their own. I believe this baby is a miracle, but I'm afraid of losing the only man I have ever loved. Any advice?? Please, I need some support. I can't tell a single soul about my pregnancy to protect his situation.

June 25, 2017 - 5:55pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

He is not going to leave his current partner, but you need to love respect more and think logically about the situation. Most likely you would stay alone with a baby if i you keep him as he is not interested to have family with you. sorry to say

March 17, 2018 - 2:32pm
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