7 months pregnant with our 2nd child. why doesnt he want me anymore?

Hello this is kendra.....My boyfriend don't want to be relationship with me while im pregnant im only 7 week now i dont understand why he dont want me cause i have my daughter's father and i have problem too many, he gettin jealous cause i have new boyfriend..he listen to anybody thats why he dont want me...what can i do?

well i havent been on here lately but just wanted to update that the reason all this was going on is because he was getting back together with his other sons mother they were texting naked pix while i was at work he was going over there saying to see his son but telling her how much he hated me and loved her and wanted to make up and be a family he was living with her after we seperated for up until i had the baby he cam back didnt tell me anything she wrote me a mesage telling me the whole thing....beyond hurt is wat was going on in my head devastating we are trying to work through this cuz he said it didnt mean anything he was just confused and needed somewhere to live. i ended up cheating on him the day we were supposed to get married...when he was doing everything that i wanted loving affection everything so now i messed it up. its hard right now because now he acts like what i did made what he did dissapear

Hi angelevldvl,

I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. I did notice that you mentioned him being a SAHD (stay at home dad). We, as women, can handle A LOT more than we are sometimes given credit for. However, being a SAHD can quickly turn into more than a man bargained for-- even worse if he stays home all day, every day of the week. Have you discussed if he was perhaps overwhelmed or stressed over being the one to stay home with your son?

My husband has recently taken on this role and I know that sometimes he just needs to get out of the house and/or is exhausted by the end of the day. Men need a lot of praise for this, something that we, as women, don't really get but we don't really NEED it, either. The lack of sex, communication, etc. could have a lot to do with the fact that he may feel tired, unappreciated, maybe even depressed. I know he is your EX now but I think it's something worth discussing, don't you think?

well i just wanted to say thank you for your advice. as of today before new years i have separated with my boyfriend. its very sad and hard to deal with but its for the better. i am spending new years with my son and my family. and i dont know what my ex is planning but it donesnt matter anymore. i will be happy.

well thank you for the info on this problem of mine. i think it helped me alot and hopefully this will get better. my other problem with him is that i feel like his friends are more important to him than me. he stays home all week with me but i work 45 hours a week. i feel like i never see him. he wants to go out every friday with his friends i get upset every time and i cant help it. i wish that he would say one time i dont want to go this week i want to be with u. that never happens. he turns it around on me and says that im jelous that hes with his friends and im insecure and think hes going to cheat. im very insecure because i feel like if hes not doing it with me then he wants to find it somewhere else but the biggest issue is that i just want him to want to be with me instead of his friends. why cant he show me that? and we even had a 2 second conversation about new years eve. i stopped talking right away becuase i didnt want to argue on christmas. he says he wants to go out for new years eve with his friends instead of being home with me. he rather leave me home alone. its very sad and dissapointing to me. i feel like im begging for him to love me and want me. its making me miserable.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I can offer a few words of advice:

1. Some men act differently toward their pregnant female partner. If you can understand this, and not take it personally, you might feel better. Do you have other women friends who are also pregnant, who you can talk to? It is so helpful to join a prenatal yoga class or a mom's group or anything...women start talking about how their husbands treat them different when they are pregnant, and it is all OK.

2. Know what you want. OK...so sex is off the table for now. He said he is not comfortable, so you have to honor him for communicating his feelings. If you two can talk about it more, he may have some misconceptions (sex might hurt the baby) that you can educate him on. Otherwise, if he doesn't want to...he doesn't want to. If you two had a good relationship foundation before you became pregnant, your relationship will survive the sex drought for another few months (and then the sleep-deprived state after that!). If you want to be physically intimate, he needs to honor that as well. You two need to find a good compromise to meet both of your needs; I even think he needs to be more flexible and pamper you while you are pregnant (but, for some reason, a lot of men don't "get" this!). If you need to be physically touched, feel physically close with him...what are you BOTH comfortable doing...both receiving and giving? If he absolutely can not touch you because you are pregnant...that is concerning, but you can meet your physical needs in other ways: weekly prenatal massage and getting lots and lots of hugs from other friends and family (I know its not the same).
3. The other issue is that he is watching porn while you are at work. How many things are wrong with this scenario...does he not work? If he is unemployed, is he taking care of the house, paying bills, cooking dinner, watching the kids (you know, all the stuff that stay-at-home-moms are expected to do), and looking for employment? Is he using his time for the betterment of his community (volunteering)? If you said "no" to all of these things...is he depressed? I understand men and women watching adult movies, but every day, and in lieu of being a productive member of society and causing relationship difficulties, leads me to believe he is depressed, has other potentially addictive personality traits...or something is not quite right.

It's not really about the lack of sex, but the other issues, right?