Facebook Pixel

after 3months counseling still not able to do sex why?

By May 27, 2011 - 2:28pm
Rate This

i have arousal problem.i cant to penetration with my partner.when he touched my breast .i like it and my nipples get hard but when trying to touch my vagina.i find it dead.i do not feel any sensation.i am living with partner more than 2 years .we never have penetration.i just ad bit here.i been sexually abused in my childhood few years between age 8 and 14.now i am 34 years old.very much mature.i dont have any flash backs of abuse.i want to enjoy my sex life with my partner.want to get married and having children. i love my partner. currently my GP send me to mental sexual health clinic.i am seeing psychiatric every three weeks.he found me very much normal.he suggest me to try sex toy.but its shamed i could not even insert the toy penis.i feel i do not have vagina.i do not understand why this is happening with me . i am very frustrated.is there anything else you would suggest me to do.

Add a Comment3 Comments


Hi Sam,
With proper therapy and time, individuals who have suffered sexual abuse as children can have a normal sex life as adults. Don't give up hope and keep looking for the right, caring therapist. Treatment can take time before you see results.

May 30, 2011 - 5:47pm

Hi Sam,
My heart truly goes out to you. I don't know in what country you live, what mental health services are available to you, other than the mental health clinic that you are being treated at and what health insurance coverage you may or may not have. Without that information, I will speak in general terms. I am sure that you appear mature in many ways. However, it appears that your ability to fully enjoy a complete and pleasurable sexual experience with your partner is still negatively impacted by your past history of being sexually abused. It sounds as if the person who is treating you at the mental health clinic is very insensitive to your hesitation to use a sexual toy. I respect that and he or she should also. Quite frankly, I think you need to be treated by a well-trained and sensitive therapist or counselor who specializes in the area of sexual abuse and post-traumatic stress disorder.
How long have you been in treatment? Being seen every 3 weeks seems like an inadequate treatment plan. I would think a weekly visit would be more constructive but I am basing this on mental health care in the United States. I hope that you can find the right counselor to help you work through this problem.

May 27, 2011 - 5:49pm
(reply to Maryann Gromisch RN)

thanks maryann
originally i am from pakistan and last five years i am in england now.i am attending mental health clinic here in england.i dont have any insurance cover.here mental health clinic is free.anyway my question is ..do children who abused in their early age.are the able to have sex in their later life.hope you ll understand what i am trying to ask thanks

May 28, 2011 - 2:46pm
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sexual Health

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Related Checklists

Sexual Health Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!