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Am I being emotionally abused by my husband?

By Anonymous February 10, 2016 - 5:13am
 
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About 9 weeks ago I asked my husband if we could talk about our relationship as over 12 months we appeared to be drifting further apart. He said that the relationship has been bad for a long time and I asked if we could talk about our differences, he just got angry and walked away from me. I persued him as he never seems to want to talk to me about anything to do with feelings and he always just walks away. Anyway after trying to get him to engage in a conversation it all blow up and he said he would find somewhere else to move to as he had had a guts full, since then he hasn't spoken a word to me and doesn't even acknowledge me, it is as if I'm not here and this has been going on for 9 weeks now and he doesn't appear to be moving out like he said. I have tried a couple of times to talk with him but all I get is a barrage of finger pointing and blame and then he walks away. I just don't understand what is going on with him, any insight may help me deal with trying to move forward and would be appreciated. Sara

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Hello Sara,

Welcome to EmpowHER. Thank you for sharing your situation and seeking advice from our community.

My opinion is that this is not emotional abuse. Rather, you and your husband have an underlying issue that is seriously affecting your relationship.

In general, men do not and will not express their feelings easily. The more you press the issue, the more he will turn away.

How long have you been married? What specific differences do you want to discuss? Are all the differences his ? Have you ever been compatible? What happened in the last year to make these differences a problem?

Your husband is apparently very angry. Can you identify the cause? Is it your persistence to discuss your relationship? What is the tone of your approach? Is it confrontational?

Anonymous, consider marriage counseling. In counseling, you and your husband must be able to honestly express feelings, agree to compromise and accept the feedback of the therapist.

there are three options, live with each other's differences, live around the differences or live without each other.

Regards,
Maryann

February 10, 2016 - 9:18am
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