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Q: 

boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months, no sex for five months?

By Anonymous July 30, 2015 - 9:14am
 
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I will preface this by saying that due to an unfortunate situation I was forced to move in with this guy I had been dating for about a month. Now before you leap into that well, also consider he had 1. Already asked me to move in with him
2. Told me he was very excited to have me live with him, and that this wasn't something he had done with any other girl.

That being said I'm not sure whatis going on. When I say no sex in five months I mean, no sexual touching, very in frequent kissing (like sometimes it's more than two days before he'll kiss me)

I try all the time to get him to have sex and he always shuts down or ignores me, every time. I've brought this up to him a couple times in a non critical way and he doesn't say anything, but insists he loves me, finds me attractive, etc..
Recently I caught him watching porn and masturbating, which I figured out is something he does early before I wake up or after I leave. Usually when he is "taking a shower".
Now I've seen some very strange things going like, Webcam being open for now reason on the computer, he switches shorts when he was already wearing shorts earlier, wearing cologne, or different deordorant, except he doesn't have any deordorant and hasn't really ever worn cologne. (we're both pretty big hippies.
Seems to me like another woman is involved, but I haven't seen any hard proof this is going on, and i live with the guy!

Also, he owes me about $3000 in rent because he quit his job and didn't want to get another and asked me to pay the rent ("it's just this one month, and this other month, and this other month so on...")

He is definitely the type of guy that doesn't want to talk about anything, even his day most of the time, so I'm not sure how to go about this, or figure out what is going on short of hiring a detective! Which is crazy, and very expensive, and totally insane for me to do.

Any advice?

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Hello Anonymous,

Welcome to EmpowHER and thank you for sharing your story with honesty. We are not here to judge your decision to move in with this young man. Obviously, he has some reason for not wanting to engage in sexual activity with you.

Unless he is willing to be honest with you and share his reason, it is only a guessing game.

Honestly, I think he is using you as a means of paying the rent. Reconsider your options.

Regards,
Maryann

July 30, 2015 - 9:22am
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