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can depression get in the way of sex?

By November 20, 2009 - 1:39am
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Hi Empowher' I was looking back in my diary and I usually jot down when my fiance' and I have intercourse. t was a bit of a dry spell for about 3 months straight. then we had intercourse about two weeks ago. I have noticed that two weeks ago when we did had intercourse iwas a little bit happy, but now a little more sad. we get into arguements more often.. about small things. I sometimes hear him complain about me leaving things out on the counters and not putting stuff away. we have a soon to be a 11 month old son. Most of my time is takeing care of him to be worrying about small things. but when he complains i feel as if he's trying to be more like my father then partner. out sex is going down, we used to hae sex like all the time even during our pregnancy. and a little bit afterwards, but now not so much. I went to a doctor about depression but i felt a little silly asking him about this. but can depression get in the way with sex? should i send him singnals that i want to have sex. or wake him up when our son is sleeping so we can have sex. i read that haveing sex can release tention between partners who are going through alot of sex. We would have the house to our selves this week end. but if the sex is all that is missing from our lives and that would be whats wrong with me, maybe I don't have to be on derpression pills. what do you think?

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Hi PrincessCoffee,

Thank you for your post and welcome to Empowher.

One of the signs and symptoms of depression is losing interest in activities of daily life. This includes any hobbies you may have had in your past, social activities, pastimes, and sex. So, yes-- depression can certainly interfere in your sex life.

However, I wanted to point out that having sex the amount of times you were used to is not going to cure your depression if you truly are clinically depressed. It is a big part of your life and your relationship but it does not make a cure. The lack of sex in your relationship is a result of the depression not the cause of it.

More symptoms related to depression are:
-Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
-Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).
-Psychomotor agitation or retardation. Either feeling “keyed up” and restless or sluggish and physically slowed down.
- Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued and physically drained. Even small tasks are exhausting or take longer.
-Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. Harsh criticism of perceived faults and mistakes.
-Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
-Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.

I would encourage you to talk to your doctor about this. As embarrassing as you may think it is to talk to him about this, there is nothing embarrassing about it and I'm sure he's heard it before. Here are some more links if you're interested in some reading.


Good Luck!

November 20, 2009 - 6:29am
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