Could we be pregnant?

Thank you so much! And congratulations to you!!! You can get me any info on pregnancy u can, it will be appreciated!! I'm going to keep praying and hopeing I know it'll happen for us I just hope it's not to long!

Hi Brandi,
What a fun time, even though it is riddled with second-guessing, wondering and waiting.

I have many resources I can provide to you, but to answer your direct question, "what are our chances of being successful?", the answer is: 0%-20%. I know, I know, those aren't good odds, but they are monthly and the numbers do build on each other, the more you "try". Basically, a woman has about a 20% chance each cycle of becoming pregnant. That is why couples should relax, take it easy, do some tracking of their cycles (if they choose), and most experts say to have sex every-other day regardless of "when" it is in your cycle to have the best chances...and to do this for a year!

The most recent data say that healthy men (without any fertility issues) actually do not need to "save up" their sperm, and that having unprotected sex every-other-day provides plenty of time for sperm to be replenished.

Also, the most recent data say that it is more important to have sex BEFORE you think you are ovulating, rather than waiting until after! Sperm can live inside a woman's body when she is most fertile for 3 days (even up to 5 days), and it is actually best for the sperm to be "waiting" for an egg to be released instead of the other-way around. The fertilizing an egg process takes awhile, and sperm need to make their way through the vagina, through the cervical opening and mucus, through the uterus into the fallopian tubes where fertilization happens.

Since we do not know exactly when we ovulate each cycle (it is a very broad assumption that women ovulate in the middle of their cycle, and even the best tracking "tools" are only "predictor" kits and can not pinpoint the day), and couples can become anxious when tracking basal temperature, cervical mucus and using ovulation predictor kits, the experts say to just have sex as often as possible, with a goal of about every-other day, for 6 months, and see what happens! It takes the stress out of the "trying" and lets you focus on creating more intimacy with your partner. Of course, many women love tracking their cycles and learning about their bodies, which is great too! It really depends on your temperament and if you are curious about learning about your body...or would be more likely to become obsessed with reading results and anxious about timing things "just right".

I also wanted to let you know that not long ago, I was in your exact shoes! My husband and I began trying for our second baby in February, and I really thought (even with all the health information at my fingertips) that the second we had unprotected sex...that I would become pregnant! You spend so much time trying NOT to become pregnant, that I guess many of us think it happens right away. I had my moments of being frustrated, anxiously waiting and wishing-away the days for my period (to not come). I analyzed every twinge, cramp, soreness and ache..even knowing that most pregnancy symptoms do not even start until after a missed period. (I'm happy to say that I am now 15 weeks pregnant...it took us 5 months, and I'm in my mid-30s).

Also, it is important for you to know that you do not actually become pregnant until 10-14 days after ovulation, as this is when implantation of the fertilized egg actually occurs. It takes this long for the process of ovulation, fertilization, egg traveling and egg implantation to actually have a viable pregnancy. So, any symptoms you feel are most likely not pregnancy-related, or at least, not that you can 100% attribute to a pregnancy. By the time you miss your period and are officially pregnant by a test, you are said to be "4 weeks pregnant", although you've really only been pregnant for 2 weeks (the doctors start counting pregnancy from assumed time of ovulation).

Does this all make sense? Basically, 6 days after ovulation, you probably do not have an implanted fertilized egg (yet!), but you may...and the cramps could be implantation "cramping" (again, most women do not feel this, unfortunately). I don't want to take all of your hopes away, but also want to provide you with the most realistic and up-to-date information available.

What resources would you like me to post for you? I have information on the ovulation and fertilization process, signs/symptoms of pregnancy, what medical experts say about conception...you name it! :-)

Good luck, and hope to hear from you again!