i have moved to a small town about 8 months now, job searching for 6 in ahalf and nothing, it has made me literally go "crazy", my relationship is slowly dying off, we're always fighting, in the recent 2 months i have found that most my days are spent in my bed, on the internet. I no longer want to be around friends, want to see the day, i dont stay in front of a mirror all day anymore or get dressed up, i barely eat...maybe once a day....i get bad headaches, dizzy spells the last week. I have had to go to the hospital twice because i have had these episodes where my chest starts to hurt, i shake, and feel extremely faint, my mood is out of order, i never smile anymore it is VERY hard to , even when i should be. I never talk about my problems, i never have been one to open up, until now i feel i really need it. Also here at home, i feel a little 'trapped"...i mean i love my bf of 2 years, but lately i feel he is just using me and i cant seem to leave! he is of no real support and rarely ever helps me out, as much as i would love to leave, i cannot. he is not physical or anything but i know there is mental abuse for sure, now both physical and mental abuse i have grown used to since i was age 13, i have noticed a pattern, i go after men who abuse in either one way or another, now i am not abuser of anything, i am highly into God, i have loving, caring nature ect.....but lately my world has collapsed. I feel lost...my soul aches, and i have nobody....i dont know what to do , what kind of help is there for someone like me with no job to receive help??
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