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Is this depression?

By Anonymous August 18, 2014 - 11:46am
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When my wife speaks she has a frown on her face.. I have seen it more than once. She jumps all over her mother or anyone who does something unexpected. She is easily angered and avoids me sexually... any suggestions?

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Hi Anon,

Thank you for sharing your question with the EmpowHER community. It sounds like you are really concerned about your wife and that you care and love her. Based on the situations you described, it doesn't really sound like depression to me, but more like there is something going on and she is really stressed out or possibly annoyed by something she hasn't talked to you about. How long have you two been married? Has she always been this way towards you and others? 

How does she express her anger? Is it verbal, physical or both?

It sounds to me like maybe she has something going on in her life that she is keeping bottled up inside and you just happen to be the punching bag.  If she is carrying around something or feels guilt, often people react with short tempers and are very irritable.

I would approach her with kindness and concern and let her know how you feel when she reacts to things that upset her. Try to avoid blaming her and keep in mind that you are her loving spouse that is concerned for her happiness and that you are there to listen or help if there are ways you actually can help her. 

By getting to the root of her anger and supporting her, there's a chance that she can work on her actions. She might not even be aware of some of her actions, so proceed gently as not to hurt her feelings.

If she feels that she can trust you and express herself to you about what's going on, your love life might heat back up. When women feel understood, cared for and loved unconditionally, we tend to become more interested in intimacy. After all, a strong relationship with open communication is the core of intimacy. 

Anon, please respond back with some more details and the questions above that I asked you-it will give me a better idea on how to help you out.

I did include a recent discussion about signs of depression. Take a look at it and let me know if she is exhibiting any of these symptoms in addition to the examples you mentioned earlier.

]]>https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/what-signs-tell-me-if-my-spouse-s...]]> Will you keep in touch? Best, Kristin">https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/what-signs-tell-me-if-my-spouse-suffering-depression

Will you keep in touch?



August 18, 2014 - 12:19pm
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