I am 56 years old and have always had a major problem with my daughter. I was married at the age of 15 giving birth to 3 wonderful children over 5 years. I left my hushand when I was 21 as he was abusive, drug addict and drank too much. At such a young age I did not have the skills nor the help that many people of abuse have today.
My daughter has always held the separation over me and used it to have her friends and relationships disapprove of me. She tells me one day I am loved and missed and the next that I am evel, worthless and not her mother.
I am not sure what to do from this point on. I have given my daughter a letter addressing boundries which I will not let her cross in the hopes that this would help her to have some sort of relatonship with me. However this has only given her more resentment towars me. The letter was well written and quite detailed and done with the help of a mental health doctor I am seeing in order to overcome the issues my daughter and I have with each other.
I do have other health problems such as high/low blood pressure, atrofibulation, fibromyalgia, depression and anxiety. Not so long ago my mental well being was really back with me looking at my daughter on one hand and death on the other. Twice in the past year since my daughter moved to the same small Alberta town I live in I have wanted death over my daughter as she has made it clear she is going to try and control me with me love for her.
I at this stage of my treatment am to the point of letting her go comletely from my life for the sake of my own health the for the love of my husband, friends and family that love me unconditionally and want me in their lives.
Why do I still feel so much guilt.