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Final stages of of Illiness would a person be able to make final choice or judgment.

By Anonymous January 20, 2011 - 10:42pm
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My mother had Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. She doesn't want to make a living will Etc. She think she will just died quickly. But I worry She doesn't have much money and have a home not paid for and some credit card .She now have a big bill to oxygen company because she doesn't understand the bill and I just found out when she move in with me. I am still raising my kid . My husband is my full support and thank God We are OK . But I wanted her to pay her bills and catch up with the bills and save so she will have all the thing that she needed as she lives. I want her to decided that while she in her right mind to prepare her living will written down on legal paper. But she refuse, she believe she is going to die quickly. But I know that sometimes it not true . I want that all my family work together and I am not left Holding the bag. she 75 yrs this is 4 yrs diagnosis I know now she more depend on Oxygen. She angry with me and my sister

tell me that I am crazy tell her that. So I told my mother to go live with my sister and she can make help her. My sister has no kids. I have a son finishing high
school and 15 yrs and 13 yrs old children. I Know that IF she doesn't control her money and prepare for future it going to be every hard on us all. I don't want any of her money She can live with me freely and eat with us. But I want to have the thing she need in her final day . So please tell me more how can one be prepare in all different always?

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Expert HERWriter Guide Blogger

Anon - It's heartbreaking to read your concerns for your mom, and thanks so much for writing and sharing them. I am a leukemia patient and am single, so I am my own caregiver. While I am doing well now I also know my illness could turn on a dime and kill me and have had to take into account the same concerns that you have.

The more you understand your mother's illness, and can relate to it with her, the better. Here is a link to information that will help you understand many different aspects. http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/pulmonaryfibrosis.html

The Pulmonary Fibrosis Foundation may be able to help you in gaining information about the final stages of the disease and what patients experience. http://www.pulmonaryfibrosis.org/

If they can't help you another group that typically has local chapters and strong support services is the Lung Association. http://www.lungusa.org/

I don't know your mother's age, but I've found that older patients can be very reluctant to take a head on look at their illness and life situation. I hope you will continue to be patient and work with her as best you can so that you can help her, as well as yourself and your own family.

Take care,

January 24, 2011 - 5:58pm
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