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Q: 

gaslighting

By Anonymous July 3, 2017 - 7:14pm
 
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Hello, my husband does this to me. I have just discovered this term.
I cannot afford to leave him. Do you have any suggestions on how I can deal with this and still be happy?
Thank you for your help.
Cindy

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Guide

Hello Cindy,

Welcome to EmpowHER. Thank you for reaching out to our community for help.

Gaslighting is a tactic in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. It works much better than you may think. Anyone is susceptible to gaslighting, and it is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders. It is done slowly, so the victim doesn't realize how much they've been brainwashed.

How To Combat Gaslighting In Your Life

First, know this first and foremost: you are an awesome and amazing individual, and you are worth so much, even if your gaslighter refuses to see it.

Gaslighting is one of those abuse tactics that loses a lot of power once you realize what’s happening. Once you do, it’s very easy to see the machinations behind why your gaslighter says the things they say, and once that happens, it’s easier to let things roll off your back.

Go with your gut. Sometimes, you could very well be overreacting, because nobody’s perfect and sometimes that happens, but more often than not, when someone is trying to gaslight you, you’ll know what’s happening in your gut. There are a few ways your mind might let you know when something’s not right, but when you know, you know.
Trust yourself, because that act on its own gives you a lot of power.

Try to find yourself a good support network that your gaslighter has no power over.

Sometimes all you need is someone to remind you that you’re not crazy.

As much as letting go of your gaslighter might be hard, that might be a thing you have to do. If they simply won’t admit what they’re doing, or they just won’t stop, you might need to cut ties with that person, no matter who they are. No one person should be worth sacrificing your sanity for.

Regards,
Maryann

July 4, 2017 - 11:57am
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