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A girl I barely know who is my neighbor keeps trash talking me to all my friends and neighbors who are also hers for 2 years now. How can I cope?

By January 24, 2013 - 8:54am
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I lost so many friends over this situation and obviously they are not true friends but, I did block every person for the past 2 years who knows her because she humiliated me all over facbeook. I even deactivated my account. Here is what happened. Her current boyfriend and now baby father (not her only baby father) apparently had pictures of me in his email or myspace that she found that were 3-4 years old. At the time when I had contact with him we shared lots of interests in life but never did end up meeting because I didn't want to. He was really nice. I don't even remember how we started talking (If I found him or he found me) but it started from myspace. We talked for quite some time and he told me he was single and she was crazy etc. I asked about her because I saw them fighting on myspace at the time and both of their statuses did say single. She knew who I was from myspace because he had me on his top friends. I ended up not talking to him anymore because I lost interest and I now have a wonderful boyfriend soon to be fiance for 3 years. She lived in the same neighborhood as me but I never knew her because she lived on the lower level of townhomes (pretty crazy huh). Come to find out her kids even played with mine outside sometimes because they would come up towards our house and her daughter stayed the night with us quite a few times and I even spoke to her on the phone to arrange that. I found out it was her because she had pictures up of her and her family on myspace. Anyway I moved across the street into a really nice new community and I was the first one there... then she came to move in and others as well. So the landlady added me on facebook and the neighbor girl I am talking about here found me and sent a request. I ran into her at the tanning bed. She always commented my statuses and asked to go walking with me so we went together once, I took her. That was the only 1 on 1 time I spent with her. Little did I know she was living with the guy who was flirting with me online years ago and expected me to know and tell her everything and put on that we were close friends when we barely knew each other and even though her statuses always said she was single and hated her man. I saw pictures of them together but it wasn't my business whether they were together or not and I honestly could care less being that I have a boyfriend already and lost interest in him years ago. So she called me out publicly all over facebook and completely humiliated me, threatened to post my pictures on youtube... I didn't get to save any of it because it's erased now. But one person even went as far as saying "go piss on her" or someone else said " Go F*** up her car". She turned people against me that I really liked and made me out to look so horrible. I learned my lesson to never send any pictures of myself to anyone of course but I am 30 now and this happened in my early to mid 20's. I want to move past this but I see her at the bus stop every morning and I even stopped going to the bus stop in the summer just to avoid her. I shouldn't feel pressured to go outside because I am getting stared at by people who look at me as if I am some W****. What would you do if you were in this situation? I just want to move on and I pray about it all the time but she still lives here and so do I. I reactivated my account recently and shes still listed as a friend so I see her posts... she's lost weight has all kinds of friends who use to be great friends to me and she gets all kinds of attention, goes on vacations, has a new car etc. It just hurts and is not fair that I have had to become totally socially inactive and hide in a cave living in shame for something that I never did wrong.

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I know it's hard to give advice not knowing the full situation. Thanks for your honesty but why do you say you are surprised I am 30 or a mother? My main focus in life is my children and my family. That is what I live for. This is something that happened in my 20's. I agree that this is beneath a grown woman and I haven't done anything to retaliate or anything like that. Also, let's get this straight she was never an actual friend. I would say we were acquaintances up until this happened. I do wish her well it's just that she is manipulative, jealous, evil, rude, a liar and turned people against me and it really irritates me because of the way she accomplished that from old news that was supposedly new to her. I could have stuck around and kept defending myself but it was pointless; too many bad things were already said and I already tried. She actually harrassed another neighbor girl horribly on facebook for no reason who I am friends with and the girl ended up having her lawyer send a cease and desist letter. I do mind my own business, I do have my own friends and plenty of great ones. I may not have even (lost) all of the friends but it sure feels like it sometimes because I disconnected myself for 2 years. I have a college education, a job, and hobbies. I do love my children very much and spend most of my time with them. They are my world! I love my family and my dad has cancer right now. My mom has 13 mm kidney stone and I am also dealing with that. It's not like all I am focused on is her, I have gone 2 years not even on that facebook. I have another facebook for my music because I am a singer. Anyway, the problem is that it's not something so easy to ignore being that it's constantly in my face almost every time I leave my house or at the bus stop. I am always polite and keep to myself. I am not in any way keeping anything going because I don't talk to anyone about it and I haven't except for the other girl who got harassed by her. I am on this personal facebook to be friends with people I disconnected with who are quality people I knew over the years that I do care about. I recently re-activated my page within the last week and saw some of her updates in my newsfeed. The reason I mentioned her getting attention etc...is because it's by the people I was friends with and disconnected with over the situation because it was so hurtful and embarrassing. I do care about how those people view me. I can't change what people think when they don't know the whole truth being that the whole thing was blown way out of proportion because of her but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I can't change what happened. She mentioned how she was only ever friends with me on facebook to "taunt" me after she humiliated and harassed me. I am and have been focused on God, now, my family, & our future.

January 24, 2013 - 7:36pm
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