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Hey, Im 16 and Im really feeling weird right now. For about 8 months I have been looking at This guy's FACEBOOK page like nearly everyday. I always checked out his wall posts and his photos. He really made me go crazy, though I didnt add him. I didnt add him (send a friend request) because he has A LOT of girls on his profile and talks to all of them, and I thought he won't have time for me. So at last I let go, and didnt want to get my hopes up with this attractive guy.
Last week I was on my facebook and he popped up randomly and i said to myself "oh Ill just add him who cares". So I added him and he accepted my friend request ASAP. We started talking on FACEBOOK and he said really nice and stuff and he said babe to me.. He asked me "whats the furthest you've done with a guy" I said " I only kissed." (I lied, I had sex with my ex before). Then I asked the same thing to him and he was shy he didnt want to tell me, he kept saying "dont worry, youll think wrong of me". But at last I made him tell me, he said " I have done everything, headjob, licking out, sex." although, I wasnt surprized. But the thing is He talks about sexual stuff to me. Like "ohh give me a headjob, I wouldnt want to have sex with you, no sex before marriage". His a type of guy that get shy face to face but by message or facebook, he asks sexual stuff.
About 2 days later we went to the movies and he didnt let me pay, he paid for everything, everything was perfect !!! :) At the movies we entered like half and hour early and spoke about life, and about his school and family, and what kind of movies he likes .. Later after the movies we went to a huge park and sat on the bench , we spoke about a lot stuff, played word games, called each other names but then hugged and got over it. We got along very well. He kept hugging me, and looking into my eyes, my hair was messy around my shoulder and as he was talking to me whilest he was fixing my hair and putting it to the side, it was really good :) He kept looking in to my eyes, and kissed me like 3 or 4 times just a peck on the lips. By the way I told him that I used to stalk his FACEBOOK but didnt add him, cause I got jealous, and he was smiling about it.
After our outing I caught the train and went work In the afternoon, we were messaging when I was at my dads work, I said to him " you wont have time foor me, theres a lot of girls in your life " he said, " theres no any other girl , your my one and only one babe" (although its a bit unbelievable when he has a lot of girls on his FACEBOOK.) IN the evening I left work (around 21:00pm) and I told him I was going over my cousins house and he said ; " come to my area ",
I went to his area straight away and we sat on the bench for about 20 minutes, and just hugged but didnt kiss. He asked me which area I was going to, to my cousins place, I said the area and he was like "Im going to my cousins house in that area too, thats great well catch the train together". He got a phone call out of no where and he's like "ok were coming there now". I said "whats happening I thought we were catching the TRAIN together?" His like "my cousin and aunty knows about you there going to drop you off to your cousins house" , his like "if you dont believe look at the message I sent them half an hour ago" i looked at the message and i was shocked !!! he wrote this to his cousins " hey Im at ... station with my girlfriend can you get me and drop her off to her cousins house please?" and she replied "okay". I went in the car and the aunty and his cousins were just looking at me saying im very cute and all that, they were joking around and said " how can you go out with this idiot', i didnt know what was going on because were not even going out and we only met THAT DAY! so i didnt say anything.
So it has only been a week we have met and I kind of like him , and we were meant to meet up today, he told me he's moving to my area, but he said ' were getting our new house in your area renovated , im helping my dad, if i finish early well meet up." I sent him messages because i was really keen to see him he kept saying " im busy and we still have a lot of things to do as im helping my dad" ..
I got the feeling that he is ignoring me. and im getting the feeling him ignoring me because when ever i say call me he says "im with my mum', " im with my family"... but anyway,,, Why do you think he told his AUNTY AND COUSIN that I was his girlfriend? why would he do this? and what do you guys think about this guy?..
is he playing around? or does he like me?
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As I was reading your post, the first thing that came to mind is that this guy only wants you for sex. He asked you how far you've gone sexually, because he wants to gauge how to handle you in order to get into your pants. Guys who mention sex, before having a real conversation about anything substantial in your life, is only after sex. He isn't interested in getting to know you as a person. Don't take it seriously that he told his aunt and cousin you're his girlfriend. He wouldn't want to admit his true intentions to them or you, for fear of making himself look bad. As you grow into womanhood, you will come to find that guys will say just about anything to get into a woman's pants. However, true intimacy isn't about having sex. It's about being with someone who connects with you on such a deep level that it transcends the physical. In my opinion, teenagers should not be having sex because they are not responsible or mature enough to handle the consequences. Sex can wait and when you have it with someone who genuinely loves and respects you, then it's amazing. I believe God had a beautiful plan when he meant sex for marriage. It's a learning experience and I know everyone has to make their personal decision as to what is right for them,but everything I've said thus far, is out of concern.
November 28, 2011 - 4:19pmThis Comment
Dear Anonymous,
I worry because it seems as though you already know this guy isn't right for you, yet you continue to pursue him. There is nothing wrong with a guy having girl friends-- but it seems as though his face book page has taken over your life-- 8 months of following someone online daily seems rather unhealthy to me. He will never live up to your expectation because you already know he has a lot of girl friends, that he is likely ladies man, and that just as he flattered you he can be flattering any other girl. Whether you choose to continue to pursue someone whose faults you are already familiar with is entirely up to you. However, I think you already know that a guy who has only been speaking to you for one week and is constantly talking to you about sex has only one thing on his mind. Him calling you his girlfriend is irrelevant and clearly another method of flattery.
I hate to be so blunt, but I think you are a smart girl and able to figure out that if your first few conversations with a boy are about sex-- then he's probably not interested in anything else about you.
Good Luck,
Rosa
November 22, 2011 - 8:13amThis Comment