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Help lifting my man's libido without drugs

By October 1, 2014 - 12:11am
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I am 20 yo and my boyfriend just turned 40. He has 1 son that lives with him and another in a special home along with a full-time job. We have both agreed that it's best that I stay home and be a step parent to his 13 yo son. We have been together for almost a year now and the sex just isn't there. When we first started again, because we dated in the past but he couldn't handle a long distance relationship, and moved in together the sex was great but after a month it went down hill. We only do it once every 2-3 months and I'm always the one who has to start it. Is there anything I can do to gain the interest of my man again?

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Hello DrivenCrazyStepMom,

Welcome to the EmpowHER community and thank you for seeking our advice with your concern about your partner's low libido.

Identifying the reason will lead to a solution.

Job stress, fatigue and low self-esteem can lower a man's sex drive.

A variety of health issues, such as cardiovascular disease, hypertension, and diabetes can reduce blood flow to the body, including the genitals, lowering libido as well.

The quality of the relationship play a very important role in sexual desire.

Here is a thought to ponder. You moved in with a man who is 20 years your senior, are staying at home to care for his teenage son, who is old enough to not need a stay at home parent, and are fulfilling the role of a wife, without the benefits. Maybe, your partner got what he wanted and doesn't feel the need to satisfy your pleasures.

Sorry to be so blunt.


October 1, 2014 - 8:47am
(reply to Maryann Gromisch RN)

First, thank you for responding, blunt is what I need. And understand what you are saying. His son is old enough to stay at home alone but his attitude and anger issues are the reason he needs someone home with him. He's 13 but acts 8, can't cook, doesn't clean up after himself and gets sent home from school constantly. And this is his first time being able to come home after school to his own home since his mother being fone. Which is another issue I think affects my boyfriend and his less than typical desire for sex. 7 years ago he lost his wife in an accident. Which put his youngest son in a special home. So, it makes sense when you say it could be the stress because he has a lot of personal stress in his life. Because the sex is the only problem in our relationship. He is still the caring and giving man I fell in love with. It's his desire for sex changing that really shocked me.

October 1, 2014 - 1:09pm
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