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HELP ME! im 13 and need to know if im pregnate!

By August 1, 2009 - 8:34pm
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Okay, im 13 and there was this guy i was making out with and he tryed to get really sexual and im terrible at saying no well he got on top of me and was like trying to get my shorts down i was like nooo but he kep doing it so i gave in well he is a idot and didnt even put it in the right place it rubbed past and like touched my legs but idk if he cummed and i finally left him and now idk if im pregnate but i dont have signs though i have cramps but all girls do and my lower back aches but i have a back problem so idk i havent had tender breast or sickness. Just my stomach hurts probally from thinking about it. Now i have like "bumps" on my vagina but there really small there is like a pimple thing too its gross! It happened on June 28 or 29th, and i rember being on my period on July 4th and im pretty sure it was a period because it wasn't lite it was thick. I know yall will say tell your mom but i can't the guy that did it is my moms bestfriends son and i know he will make it seem like my fault so i dont want too tell her and not even be pregnate so will someone please help me.

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Hi Kayla,
Here is some very helpful information called Teen Talk from a credible source (Planned Parenthood). This talks about saying no, pregnancy, being intimate or physically close with someone, and also about those "bumps" you are seeing.

I have a few questions for you:
- How much older is your mom's bestfriend's son?
- How long have you noticed these "bumps"?

If you had your period, then you are most likely not pregnant. So, that is one worry that can be off your shoulders. Do you have a trusted adult, either in your family, a friend's mom or someone at school that you can talk to about these bumps?

"Acne" on your vagina is actually not normal, and you can have bumps that need to be checked by your physician without them feeling itchy or painful. Actually, most sexually transmitted infections and diseases (STDs/STIs) do not have symptoms. And, you can have "bumps" that have nothing to do with your recent sexual encounter; maybe that's how you can talk to your mom. It may just be coincidence and you have something on your genitals that may have appeared regardless, and it's important to talk with your doctor about this. Even calling the nurse at your doctor's office (your mom doesn't have to know) to ask what they think.

You may even be able to tell your mom that you need to go to the doctor because you have something "happening" "down there" that you want to ask a doctor about first, and then promise her to talk with her about it later. She doesn't have to know that it was (or was not) from sexual contact.

Your mom may, however, want to know about her friend's son who is not getting consent from you. Even though you were unable to say "no" and perhaps barely whispered it...feeling the need to "give in" means he did not gain consent from you. A boy needs to ASK for CONSENT if it is not clear, and your body language and lack of voice made it clear that you were questioning the scenario. If you were too afraid to say no, this can be considered threatening and abusive behavior by this boy.

Bottom line:
1. If you had experienced menstrual bleeding, you are not pregnant. From what you described, he never actually put his penis into your vagina. (Although, pre-ejaculatory fluid may still be on the tip of his penis just from it being erect, and touching genital-to-genital could possibly lead to pregnancy).
2. If you have bumps on your vagina, and this is different than before, you need to have this checked by your doctor. Make up any excuse to call the doctor; tell your mom you'd like to practice making your own appointment. Or, tell your mom any number of reasons and tell the doctor the truth. Then, hopefully, you can eventually tell your mom the truth, too. She may surprise you by being very open and helpful! (I know mine was, when I was in a similar situation to yours!)

August 2, 2009 - 6:14pm
(reply to Alison Beaver)

i just got them but they have all gone away except my vigina looks sorta pinkish. Also i keep getting white stuff in my panties, which i've had that in the past too tho and i was supposeed to have my period yesterday but i didnt and i didnt today either. He is my age

August 4, 2009 - 7:45pm
EmpowHER Guest

okay well first i'm sure you're not preggo cuzz the dude totally missed. next the guy is a loser and screw him for pressuring you. don't give in to a guy cuz he wants to. be good to yourself. respect yourself you're a human being and you don't deserve to be treated that way.
as for the bumps and the pimple i'd have them checked out by someone. it may be a STD and god knows no one wants anything to do with those. it's normal to get zits down there but if they hurt real bad or if they're extremely itchy i'd totally give in and tell your mother cuzz it can be a serious problem that could hurt you later on in life. get me??? yeah she may be a lil pist but it's for your own good.

August 2, 2009 - 3:45pm
EmpowHER Guest

I'd say you probably aren't pregnant. The back discomfort may be due to your previous back condition, or the fact that you are about to get your period again. Give it a few days.

Having tiny bumps could be a worry, especially if they're painful or itchy in any way. If they're not, then it could just be that you never noticed the skin down there does have tiny little pores, like bumps. It's also possible to get pimples down there. But if it's itchy or painful, it could be a sexually-transmitted disease. You'd definitely want to tell your mom, and see a doctor.

I think you're probably not ready to have a heavy kissing/physical relationship, especially if you know you're someone "who can't say no." You're putting yourself into a position where you can be pushed into something you don't want. I don't think you want to be a young woman who is pregnant or has a sexually-transmitted disease, but you're putting yourself at risk for that. You need to protect yourself.

Give yourself some time to grow into a strong woman. You are doing things that could have big consequences and make your life very difficult. Why give yourself such worries? Life is more fun when you're not worried about babies or diseases.

I'd stay FAR away from the guy who didn't listen to you when you told him NO. I'm a bit older than you, but if someone did that to me now, I would be screaming NO and pounding on his chest or pushing him away, and kicking my legs. That's a normal reaction--and you should know it's perfectly okay to do that. I don't think you should just let someone impose his will on you like that. That is NOT okay. He needs to learn to treat you with RESPECT--you're not just someone he can do what he wants with--you're a person, too. It's even ruder when you know he won't have to live with the consequence of his actions, but YOU might. What a selfish boy. And a warning, there are a lot of them out there. Don't let yourself get pulled in by them. They are not worth it.

August 1, 2009 - 9:52pm
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