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How to confront him?

By July 12, 2010 - 11:08pm
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Hi everyone,

I have a dilema, I recently use my boyfriend's computer went through some of our pictures and found a file of 30 pictures of all naked of his cowoker. She has been texting him since last October of 2009, I really did not want to see those pictures now I am dramatize, did know what to do anymore, all I can see what those pictures night and day and it really bothers me. I hit delete them all, I don't know how to confront him, it was last week on Wednesday night, and its been a hell week for me. I don't know what to react toward him anymore, i think he know that I saw them and deleted them so he act kind weird toward me too. Like just look at me..and did say anything. I hate him now..I mean I love him but really hate his guts. Its driving crazy inside, how do I confronted him? We have been together for three years now, we broke up last month, our anniversary he did nothing for me. He said it was annoying that i keep wanting to spent time with him. For the past three years, it has been hell and I know why I love him so much and with other people I will not let this past and will just rub it in their face and say peace out but its different with him, as if I don't have the control over me. I am sad, a month a half ago we broke up and that slut put on her face book that she was in an open relationship, that when he broke up with me for two weeks. All I can think off is that he slept with her because that was what she posted on her facebook. its a pain, I can't stand it any longer, I am crying inside and sometimes I don't want to live here anymore. I want to move away. Please help me.

Add a Comment4 Comments

You DO have the courage...you just have to find it! You are only 30, and he sounds like he is in his mid-20s going on 16. I know three years feels like a really long time to be with someone, and it is significant, but it is not something that prevents you from walking away and doing something healthy for yourself. Women find the courage to walk away from very unhealthy and hurtful or unfaithful relationships after DECADES of being together, having kids, buying houses...lots of commitments. Fortunately, you do not have this, and absolutely can find a relationship that is deserving of you.

Do you have friends and family that can help support you?

July 18, 2010 - 7:54pm

Can you tell us how old you are?

Beyond the nude photos of a previous girlfriend/co-worker/love-interest (whatever the title), this sentence of yours was most telling:

"...he said it was annoying that i keep wanting to spent time with him".

You only have control over yourself, and your boyfriend can always accumulate more naked pictures of women. This does not sound like a healthy relationship (far from it!), and I am wondering what type of relationship YOU want? Why do you want to be in a relationship where you have to tip-toe around a person when you have a concern? A mature, mutually-loving relationship would allow for both people to be able to confront the other with concerns or hurt feelings, and expect the other to respond with kindness, empathy and practical solutions.

Secondly, the phrase that I quoted from above that he is annoyed with you that you want to spend time with him. I hope you believe in yourself, and your value, that other people and boyfriends should WANT to spend time WITH YOU, and not complain about it. Anyone who complains about spending time with you can keep on complaining, as you spend your precious time and self with other people who value you.

If you want to move away, I am wondering if you are in high school, and are feeling trapped by this boy?

July 13, 2010 - 2:27pm
(reply to Alison Beaver)

Hi Alison,

Thank you for your responds, I am going to be thirty and he is in his mid 20s. I do really want to move away, but it will be for me because I need to save myself from going crazy and insane. We have been together for more than three years now and it kills me to learn of this .. I see flash of her image on my mind because of the pictures i have seen of her..I know i need to move on but i feel like i don't have the courage too anymore.

July 18, 2010 - 7:11pm
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