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How Do I Make Myself Move On

By March 25, 2010 - 11:44pm
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Hi my name is Patty im 45 yrs old and my husband is 40, my husband and i have been together for 25 yrs but only married 5 of those years.i had 1 daughter when i met him and we had 2 together girl and boy . in those 25 yrs he has touched kissed grabbed and whatever else he could to MY FEMALE FRIENDS AND FEMALE FAMILY. they have always come to me and told me about what he had done so i never worried about them cheating with him (THEY KNEW BETTER).none the less about 6 yrs ago he did find A SCANK TO DO HIM and for some ungodly reason i took him back and MARRIED HIM,he has browbeat me down so far i dont know how to get back up when we are home he acts like he loves me and wants to be here but when we get in front of other people he treats me so disrespectful and ugly he talks down to me and im not the type of person to stand and take to much mouth from a man ( i grew up with a drunk father and then a stepfather beating the daylights out of my mom )when he treats me that way we fight, and he acts just like he has no idea what im talking about when i tell him what im so mad for he trys to make me look and feel like an idiot .I dont have any friends because everytime i got a new friend he always seem to mess it up for me (but now he tells me i need to get a life with friends)

my children and grandchildren are all i have
he does not have anything to do with me until he wants to he doesnt take me any where well honestly i wont go anywhere with him anymore because he only wants to go to his dope smokin friends house and i dont do that (i smoke cigs and drink coffee thats as strong as i get)my father has been sick and i wanted to go see him yesterday and my husband treated me so so ugly in front of him my father told him to get out
he has also started talking about his brothers ex she was a drunk wobbling around my yard how sexy and cute is that
i guess my question is how do i pick myself up and get out ,i know in my heart and gut that he doesnt love me anymore but i just havent been able to push myself to just leave WHAT DO I DO

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let me say that part of the reason i havent just up and left is because i dont go out of my house unless i really really have to (that started when i lost my job ) i dont like to drive because i get stressed and have panic attacks (that started when i had an accident when someone hit me one night when i was driving home from work)i dont like being around a crowd of people i dont know ( i have always as long as i can remember being that way even as a child)
i am a worrier i think of what could happen every minute of every day
i dont sleep at night most of the time i stay awake for days

March 26, 2010 - 12:38am
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