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I don't know what else to do?

By Anonymous July 19, 2012 - 3:56pm
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My boyfriend and I have been living together for three years. In the beginning everything was great and we were making love regularly (like every relationship). I am 38 and he is 62. The age thing is not an issue. We really have everything in common. He looks and acts like a 40 year man. He is the exception to the rule in this department. He has never been married and has had a lot of girlfriends (as he should for being his age and never been married). I know this and I am fine with this. He has always been very honest with me and told me about his past relationships, experiences, etc... We have so much in common and do everything together.

Unfortunately I think we do to much together. We worked together, live together and he is going through so much stress and so many difficult issue sin his life. I have taken a job that keeps me away from at least 8am - 5pm. He was always independently wealthy, drove nice cars and never had to worry about a thing for the past 40 years of his life. Now he has no money, has lawsuits against him, he is stressed out with all sorts of issues and says that he doesn't think he is cut out to be a "live together" boyfriend. The cherry on top of all this is when he says "he doesn't have the desire or passions to make love to me anymore."
I have tried everything to create passion in our relationship. I am an easy going women. I am not demanding and I never put any pressures on him. He says he feels like his wings have been clipped. He used to take a day or two off here and there and just go away for a few days to be by himself and feel independent again. He can't do that like he used to because the does not have the money to go and I know these things make him depressed. He goes through fits of depression and I stand by hi side and rub his feet and nature him to make him relaxed and feel better. He says he appreciates it and that I am so sweet to do these things fork him. He says I am a special girl and that he is trying to hang in there? But lately I have been so sad. I have turned into a roommate. We sleep in different rooms and I all I do is help him with his business issues and stress problems in his life. All we talk about are these issues and he can never turn it off and just be the way we used to be.
He doesn't know if he wants to see other people or if I should just move out and date him now and then.
I am struggling because I have fallen so hard in love with him and devoted everything to him. We have been through so much together running a business and dealing with all these stressful issues he has. I cannot give up or let go. I have turned into this emotional roller coaster of a girlfriend because I don't know where I stand.
I tell him I just want to have fun with him, love him and be his girl. I want us to look back on our life and say we had a beautiful romance and I have enjoyed loving you and sharing my life with you.
Where do I go from here?

Add a Comment3 Comments

I agree if not a psychologist than you can talk to your family doctor. Stress plays a huge role in sexual relationships as well. They do have medicine if need be to help things balance again.

July 24, 2012 - 3:36pm

Hello anakalia,

It is apparent that you love this man deeply. But, depression will not go away with love alone. You and your boyfriend need the help of a well-trained, licensed psychologist.

There are many difficult issues in your lives and with professional intervention, you can develop coping skills and return to the life you once both enjoyed.

Do not try to go it alone. Best wishes.


July 19, 2012 - 5:04pm

sorry for the misspelled words... I am a bit frazzled.

July 19, 2012 - 4:04pm
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