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I know my disease affects others, but I need help

By November 11, 2010 - 9:41pm
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I am actually a woman struggling with bulimia. I felt it was "corrected" after seeing a therapist about a year ago, however, it had resurfaced roughly 6 months ago. I began a relationship with a wonderful man about 8 months ago and everything was great...until I told him about my disease. He was very supportive. Said he would go to meetings or whatever I needed, and actually said if it continued, he would tell my parents.
I grew up in a very loving family and everything started when I was in gymnastics, about 20 years ago. Yikes, I can't believe it's been going on this long. Anyhow, I hit a pretty low low a year ago, and told my mom and dad. They were also very supportive, and think I have recovered. I am thinking about going again to talk to a therapist, to try to get everything under control. I don't want to feel like this anymore and am unbelievably ashamed I can't beat this and don't want to dissapoint my mom and dad.

Anyhow, the intimacy between my boyfriend and me is pretty much non existant, and I do want things to work. He says everything has affected him, but he doesn't want to give up either. I don't know what to do. I need get rid of this awful demon inside of me and I understand that can be done with more therapy and being open with my family. At the same time, though, I need him to be the "him" he was before he knew.
I found this website about caregivers and I think it is a wonderful thing. I understand the disease I have affects my family and friends, and other who have it affect their family and friends. I never really thought about that before, and I apologize for whatever you have gone through. Please know we don't mean to hurt you. In fact, every time an "episode" occurs, we promise ourselves it will be the last....at the very least because we don't want to hurt our loved ones.
I just realized how much I am rambling, and although I am not a caregiver, I am asking you who are for some advice.
Thanks for reading, and I really hope to gain some insight on this cloudy world I feel I am living.

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