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I went over to my sister's house over in Alabama the week before Christmas.

By May 26, 2011 - 1:10pm
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I have trouble getting along with her. We are both in our 50's. She is always starting arguments with me because no matter what I do she always has to criticize me. Well she started an argument with me. I had already made up my mind that if she started arguing I was going to pack up my bags and leave. Well she would have no part of that. She started grabbing me and hitting me. The fight turned physical. Well her husband was called home by my niece to break up this fight. Well he didn't have anything to say to my sister, of course. What he did was restrain me so I wouldn't get away because they wanted me to listen to them tell me what all they think is wrong with my life. I'm 56 yrs old, OK? I think it is a little bit too late to be bossing me around. OK, that was almost six months ago. Now they don't think they did anything wrong. They are blaming everything on me and are wanting ME to apologize to them. They dont think they have any reason to apologize to me. I dont understand this at all. I am about to lose my mind and sanity over this. Please help.

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It is good that you are seeing a counselor to focus on you and help you find the direction to deal with the conflict within your family. Your counselor may be right. Limiting or avoiding contact with your sister and brother-in-law may be what works. I truly understand what you are saying. It can be impossible to convince someone that he or she has a problem or is part of a problem if he or she thinks otherwise. And there are some individuals, who will not under any circumstances, engage in therapy or meet with a counselor. I wish you the best and positive results with your counseling therapy.

May 30, 2011 - 4:25pm

Would you consider seeing a counselor, just you and the counselor, one on one? If your family members are not agreeable, maybe you would feel better talking to an impartial person. You might be surprised by what you will discover about yourself and the situation. Wishing you the best in resolving this conflict in your life.

May 27, 2011 - 7:14pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Maryann Gromisch RN)

Hi. Thanks for responding to me.

I have been seeing a counselor on my own. My sis and husband live in Alabama and I live in Georgia, so the possibility of all of us getting together to see a counselor is very slim. Besides my brother in law is a part time Methodist minister and asking him to see a counselor of any kind would probably offend him. He probably believes he doesn't need it, you know?

Well anyway, guess I will just have to work it out with my own counselor. She told me to just not have anything to do with all of them. I think I agree.

May 28, 2011 - 7:27am

Hi Shannon,
Conflicts among family members, especially a spouse and a sibling, are very distressing and the chronic stress can negatively impact the health of everyone involved in the crisis. Would you consider counseling? I am wondering if an impartial person who could act as a mediator, would be helpful. Someone who is not directly involved can give insight and maybe even point out things that you and your family members may be missing. You may want to check out a well- trained counselor or therapist who specializes in couples or family counseling.

May 26, 2011 - 5:07pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Maryann Gromisch RN)

Thanks for answering me. A counseling session for everyone involved would never work. Want to know why? My brother in law, who is a part time Methodist minister, but never agree to a session for him to go to. See, he's supposed to be perfect. While this altercation was going on that day before Christmas, he told me that he and my sister were right about everything and that I was wrong about everything. How can you reason with someone like that? I am just trying to understand why they want to blame everything that happened on me. That's where all this distress I am having is coming from.

May 26, 2011 - 8:38pm
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