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I'm starting to worry

By Anonymous December 30, 2015 - 8:59am
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my girlfriend doesn't feel pleasurable with sex or even when she try to touch her self we've tried almost everything and she stills feels nothing is this normal ?

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Hi Anon,

Thank you for sharing your question with the EmpowHER community.

Perhaps your girlfriend is one of the many women who deal with Female Sexual Dysfunction.   Female Sexual Dysfunction is persistent, recurrent problems with sexual response, desire, orgasm or pain — that distress you or strain your relationship with your partner. It is very common in women and can occur as a result of physical or psychological problem. 

Even though this may be the issue, it has to be properly diagnosed and treated by medical professionals.  Also understand its a topic that many (women and men) are hesitant and embarassed to discuss, so be very sensitive and patience with your girlfriend when talking about it.

As for what you can do as her partner, be sure not to pressure her about it.  Also, don't take on responsibility.  Its not something you can fix for her.  You can be supportive and that sounds like what you are doing.

I hope this helps.

Be well,


December 30, 2015 - 9:40am

Hello Anonymous,

Welcome to EmpowHER and thank you for reaching out to our community with your concern.

A woman's sexual desire naturally fluctuates over the years. Highs and lows commonly coincide with the beginning or end of a relationship or with major life changes, such as pregnancy, menopause or illness. Some antidepressants and anti-seizure medications also can cause low sex drive in women.

A persistent or recurrent lack of interest in sex that causes personal distress may be hypoactive sexual desire disorder, also referred to as female sexual interest/arousal disorder.

A woman's desire for sex is based on a complex interaction of many components affecting intimacy, including physical well-being, emotional well-being, experiences, beliefs, lifestyle and current relationship.

Anonymous, begin with ruling out any physical reasons, such as medication, use of alcohol or tobacco products, and fatigue.

Next, your girlfriend should consider scheduling an appointment with a gynecologist. During a pelvic exam, her doctor can check for signs of physical changes contributing to low sexual desire, such as thinning of your genital tissues, vaginal dryness or pain-triggering spots.

A specialized counselor or sex therapist may be able to better evaluate emotional and relationship factors that can cause low sexual desire.


December 30, 2015 - 9:13am
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