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Is it that hard to Deal with the Truth and Feelings?

By Anonymous November 30, 2008 - 9:41am
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Is it that hard to tell the truth? Why do people tend to always tell you what they think you want to hear?

I am not sure I understand why people 'sugar coat' things or tell you something that you want to hear and distorts the truth to try and make you feel better. Would you rather hear the truth even though it would hurt or would you rather hear something that made you feel all cozy inside?

I am the type of person that tells the truth no matter the consequence. I feel it is appropriate! Tell me what you think. Help me understand.

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I recommend a great book (and also the training) which I read several years ago and I understand it is still a top choice book used as mandatory read by several employers. The books is called Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson (Author), Joseph Grenny (Author). www.crucialconversations.com

Here are a few reasons why the book should be a MUST read for everyone wishing to improve communication, relationships, team performance, etc.

1. Prepare for high-stakes situations with a proven technique
2. Transform anger and hurt feelings into powerful dialogue
3. Make it safe to talk about almost anything
4. Be persuasive, not abrasive
5. Improve nearly every professional and personal relationship
6. Yield major professional improvements in areas like productivity, quality, safety, diversity, and change management

December 2, 2008 - 1:45am

I am much more interested in being "politically correct" and "tactful" than necessarily telling someone the entire truth. I think "sugar coating" is extreme, but when giving someone feedback, I am a strong believer that feedback is heard best when sandwiched between two compliments.

For instance, "I appreciate that you are such a team player in our office, however, what I need for you to work on is producing more XYZ gadget instead of helping your co-workers with their projects."

Is that what you mean by "sugar-coating", when the supervisor in the above example really wanted to tell his employee to stop goofing around and get his work done? Instead, he gave his feedback in a nice, respectful, tactful way that he knows will be heard and taken to heart.

What are your thoughts? Do you have any examples?

November 30, 2008 - 8:44pm
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