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Lack of knowledge

By Anonymous July 13, 2015 - 10:54am
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My wife, as i have previously wrtitten to you, tells me that she just isn't interested in sex anymore, and when I ask her why, she simply say's I don't know. I'm not allowed to touch, request, or ask. No kissing, hugging or insinuating anything. When I ask her what am I to do, she simply say's you have your own bathroom.

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Hi Anon,

Thank you for sharing your question with the EmpowHER community.

This is a tough one because it usually involves things much deeper than just the physicality of sex. How long have you been married? That sometimes plays a part because over time things can become routine especially when both parties have a ton of responsibility and are very busy.

The female orgasm is a relatively complicated matter, compared to men. Guys have a better chance of experiencing orgasmic bliss, whereas women have no guarantee.

Ask yourself theses questions: Are you in tuned enough into your wife's sexual pleasure? Or are there other issues that need to be addressed that left unaddressed are now affecting your connection and intimacy?

Try talking to your wife about what changed. If she wants intimacy to improve she should be willing to be part of the conversation. But don't make the conversation strictly about sex and the lack of it. Talk about you and her and what other things connect you as a couple. Have patience with the process. Ask questions and really listen. Pay attention to what's important to her (non-sexually and sexually if she shares that) and make sure you make an effort to improve in those areas.

By no means am I saying that her lack of interest is solely your responsibility , but that is a place to start. Keep in mind, depending on her age or other factors, she could be experiencing a lack in interest based on hormonal changes and she could be experiencing pain or other symptoms she hasn't shared yet.

I hope you get the fire started again with your wife.

Be well.

July 13, 2015 - 1:33pm
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