masterbation...

By Anonymous March 24, 2015 - 6:31am

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I've recently had my 3rd child and in the beginning of this last pregnancy, I expierienced major hormonal issues. I was very intimmidated/jealous/furious/sad with my husband masterbating. I was about 3 months along and woke up around 3 am to soft porn on my tv and him masterbating beside me. Now I never had an issue with this during my other pregnancies or with it in general. I used to do it several times a day myself. But for some strange reason I was furious about this! I literally felt like I had caught him with another woman. I jumped out of the bed and ran out of my room screaming at him and in tears. For the last 2 weeks prior to this I had initiated sex with him multiple times and he kept turning me down. He would fall asleep b4 I even got in the bed after putting my other 2 childern to bed. I suppose I had just had enough of the rejection. He very rarely ever makes the first move and never uses any kind of foreplay on me. Now fast forward to now...recently I tried to explain how I want more "spice" in the bedroom and even told him about my hidden toy (which hadn't been used since tht fight) and even told him I was reading porn. (Watching porn doesn't really do it for me) He had no comments about any of it. Last night I tried to be spontaneous and put on a show for him with me and my toy and after a few minutes I found he was very turned on. He had never told me he liked that b4. This morning I was aboit to walk in our bedroom and heard him lock his phone and get out of the bed. I turned around and acted like I was doing laundry. I was alittle curious about what he'd been doing so I waited till he left fpr work b4 snooping. I found a wet t shirt beside our bed. I knew he'd done it and texted him and told him I knew and hoped he was thinking of me and not the girl in the video. Just playing around. Anyways. I'm just wondering why I still feel the urge to strangle him and yell at him if it really doesn't bother me anymore. I should also note tht I have a body image disorder and and am a few pounds over weight from the last pregnancy. So what does all of this mean and how do I deal wih it?

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Maryann Gromisch RN Guide

Hello Anonymous,

Welcome to EmpowHER. I am certain you will receive a lot of feedback from our community. This topic is commonly commented upon.

It must still bother you because you come to us and are reaching out for help.

You mention a body image and that you are a few pounds over weight. Could this be a turn off for your husband?

It is apparent that he has lost interest in being intimate with you. Could he be feeling sexually inadequate? Does he now see you only as a mother and not the sexy woman he married?

I think both of you need to sit down and have an honest conversation about how each of you is feeling, try to understand each other's feelings, and work on a solution.

Check out the EmpowHER Sex & Relationships page
https://www.empowher.com/relationships-family/sex-relationships#

Regards,
Maryann

March 24, 2015 - 9:13am