Facebook Pixel
EmpowHER Guest

My boyfriend does not want to have sex

By Anonymous August 25, 2011 - 6:13am
Rate This

I dont know where to go from here. I have finaly after year of dating found the most perfect guy I thought. We have been dating for a year now and live together. He is now 41 and I am 32.The firts three months we had a good sexual relationship but then he lost his work contract . He was without work for about three months. The work he does now is also very stressfull and he is on the road alot and works long hours. We have probably had sex 5 times in the last six months. I have started to eat more and gained wait I think because I feel neglected and unsexy. We have had a few talks about this and he asures me it will come right, that he is just stressed..but its killing me. I know there is mor to a relationship but it is a whole chain event and I am so depressed. What to do??

Add a Comment1 Comments

Hi Anon,

Sounds like he is just under a lot of stress-- with losing his other job and being now put into an even more stressful position. This is understandable. Have you considered letting him get back in the "groove" of things without pressuring him for sex for now?

It sounds like you need to focus more on yourself for the time being-- you say you're depressed, gaining weight, feeling neglected-- are you sure this is all that's bothering you? If it is, then consider putting yourself in his shoes and maybe you will realize that it isn't you. Go out, start an exercise program, get back to eating healthy and you'll feel at least a hundred times better. If you feel like you can't get out of this "rut" you're in-- consider seeing a therapist if for nothing else than to just have someone to express yourself to.

Like I said, give him some time-- if it doesn't improve at all in the next 4-6 months without you even bringing up the non-sex issue then maybe it's time for a serious talk with him and maybe even couples therapy.

Best wishes,


August 25, 2011 - 7:16am
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Relationships & Family

Get Email Updates

Relationships & Family Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!