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My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex because he is stressed. What can I do to help him?

By May 6, 2011 - 3:11pm
 
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My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Our sex life has dropped drastically and we haven't had sex in 2 months. We've spoken about it and he said that he is very stressed about money right now and that's why he's not in the mood. We still hang out, laugh, cuddle. I communicate to him how insecure I'm feeling and how I don't feel wanted, but he says he's still attracted to me and its just that he's stressed. I don't want to add to his stress by putting pressure on him... but I don't know what to do to help the situation. Is there anything I can do or is this something he has to sort out himself?

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Hi,
Understandably, with the current economic crisis, the uncertainty of job security and making ends meet with the rising cost of living puts stress and strain on all of us. I think you answered your own question when you say that " you don't want to add to his stress by putting pressure on him". Though this might sound harsh, you need to be loving and supportive without putting pressure on him to have sex if he is not in the mood. If you can, work together to deal with financial issues. Once your boyfriend feels that the weight of financial concerns is off of his shoulders, he may be more interested in sex. Since he says that he is still attracted to you, don't feel insecure or not wanted. I know this must be a difficult time, but from someone who has been married for 26 years, there are ups and downs and if you truly love each other, then you will weather this storm. Hang in there, be loving and patient.

May 6, 2011 - 5:20pm
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