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My boyfriend will not have sex with me. What should I do?

By January 24, 2010 - 7:51am
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Hi. My boyfriend and I are both 20 and we've been together for about 3 1/2 years. He got a new job about 8 months ago, so now he's commuting an hour to and from work everyday as well as working long, stressful shifts. Because of this, our sex life has become non-existent. I have a fairly high libido, but I understand what stress can do to him. I just don't know what to do about it. I think he feels emasculated, and I hate hurting his feelings, but he wont even talk to me about it. He says he's just too tired all the time. I think my problem is with him constantly hanging out with his friends and playing video games when he gets home, but then he always complains about being too tired. Like I said I'm trying to be understanding to him, but we're both at our sexual peaks, and I'm very frustrated. By the way, I know he's REALLY scared of us getting pregnant even though we use protection and I'm on birth control. I'm going to be with him regardless, but what should I do?

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EmpowHER Guest

Hi Ashli,

Thank you for your question and I am sorry for your bout of sexless relationship. Stress and long hours at work will really cause lower libido in a man. This is very common. Here at EmpowHer, we have an on going thread about this exact issue.

Here is the thread https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/why-doesnt-my-boyfriend-want-have-sex-me-anymore?page=64#comment-50429.

This may help your situation to see what others have done. Let me know if that helps.

January 24, 2010 - 11:36am
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