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My boyfriend and I moved in together for the first time before that he lived with his parents, so we could never be intimate that often, be we longed for it. I thought that once we move in together, we could be a lot more intimate... but now its been over 2 months and he just wont even touch me, he wont caress me or woe me or try anything! We've talked about it and he said he is stressed sometimes and feeling depressed because he can't find a good career that he is feeling sad and unmotivated, also he said that I should be trying to make him interested in me by dressing up sexy and all.... (I've tried that but its exhausting! I'm not an escort girl) Now We love each other and does not mistreat me but I have my needs too and it seems like he's ok without any sex or any intimacy. I feel like it's just going to get worse and worse... should I still want to marry this kind of person?? Intimacy and sex is just as important as Love to me.
I feel so abandoned by him and we don''t have much money to spend on counseling... Please help!
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You are welcome, Adelaide7. Please let us know how it goes.
March 23, 2010 - 7:01amThis Comment
Thank you so much Cary! We will try the counseling I would never think that it might be covered! Since I am signing up for insurance next month we will give it a try. For now I have to be patient I guess..
March 22, 2010 - 3:18pmThis Comment
Hi Adelaide7-
I'm sorry you are going through this. This is a complicated issue, and there is no one good answer. I can say that every person has a different sex drive. Some people want a lot of sex, others can live completely without it. Differing sex drives can cause issues in a relationship, as you are seeing. It doesn't mean you can't stay together, but it is something you will need to be able to communicate about and come to some kind of agreement on.
Couples counseling would be very helpful in your situation. I know you said you don't have a lot of money, but do you have insurance? Counseling may be covered. There are also community clinics in most areas that do counseling based on income. That could be helpful. Counseling can bring issues with intimacy into the open in a way that can be harder to do on your own.
There are physical and emotional issues that can affect sex drive. The best thing you can do is keep communication open and talk with your boyfriend about what you each need to get out of a relationship. Never feel bad about your needs. They are what they are, and if they aren't met, it causes problems. That's part of being human.
March 22, 2010 - 6:52amThis Comment