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My husband isn't interested in having sex with me, we've been married for only 10 weeks

By September 11, 2009 - 3:58pm
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We had a good sex relationship for about a year before he moved in with me, we lived together for a year and a half, before we got married, sex was good but was becoming less, he said it was from medication he was taking, went to the Dr, and was put on Lavitra. it got alittle better. Now after we got married he doesn't anniciate any sexual tendacies, i do it all, I have even bought sexy nighties, rented porn, have sent sexy letteres to work with him, and he still doesn't seem to be into sex, I feel more like his mother, then his partner in life. I don't feel desireable, sexy, needed, When we do have sex, it is quick, not much if any at times foreplay on his part, seems as if I do the oral sex on him and I'm the one who does the work. I feel lonely, not sexually satisfied, and wonder why he isn't interested in me anymore.

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EmpowHER Guest

Hi sitnkimmie,

I agree with Susan when she said this is a frustrating situation that definitely needs resolution. I think communication really needs to flourish in this situation. It would appear to me that erectile dysfunction may be an issue. I am a woman, but I think men cringe at the thought of this happening to them. It is a crutch to their ego.

Certainly, trying to get him to talk about this is your main objective. Try to make a comfortable situation for him to talk about it and maybe going to see his physician again. Steer clear of saying, “We need to talk”, because men tend to run from this statement or immediately know that something is wrong and get defensive.

Don't get argumentative, try to remove your feelings of inadequacy from the equation and think that he may have a serious issue and try to be helpful instead of defensive about your emotional feelings. Women are good for putting our emotions in everything we do and everything is personal. Try to stay away from that situation.

Ask him if there is anything you can do to spice up the situation. Ask him what he would enjoy. I hope this helps because clearly communication is essential.

September 12, 2009 - 8:36am
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